An Open Letter To Single People Who Hate On Valentine's Day

Dear single people,

I'm single, too. And I get it. It feels bad when nobody's paying attention to you. I could demonstrate my understanding of this by taking you all the way back to the 15-plus years of my formerly shy self's "pay attention to me" complex that ultimately led to a doomed theater career in high school and less doomed grown up career broadcasting my personal life on the Internet, but I'm saving it for my sh*tty memoir anyway. What I'm really here to talk about is Valentine's Day, specifically to clear up a few things for the haters on what exactly this holiday is about.

Because that's just it, and say it with me now: This day is not about us single folk. Plot twist — this day isn't even about people in relationships! This day is about love. And quite honestly, all your whining is wrecking it for everyone.

I get that it's cool to be cynical now. It's a fun thing we all do — to get a laugh, to protect our egos, to take our rightful place as the April Ludgate of the office. You're the antis, you're ~cool~, you're subversive, blah blah blah. Only it's not subversive. Take a look around, haters. The anti-Valentine's day movement is hella louder than the actual holiday, and I am drawing my line in the metaphorical sand.

First of all, who are any of us to police the harmless things other people enjoy? Yeah, I get it. It's a commercialized holiday, it's a waste of money, all that tired old jazz. But some people like it. Some people enjoy the dumb cards and the fancy restaurants and the sappy declarations of love. You being aggressive about how much you hate them for it isn't going to make it go away, but more to the point — they don't deserve that. They didn't do anything to you, and their enjoyment of the holiday isn't doing anything to you. Your anger at them comes from some reflection of yourself and your own circumstances that has nothing to do with people who are happy on Valentine's Day.

Maybe instead, it's time to take a second to examine why you hate Valentine's Day so much.

One tired reason I hear a lot is because it's so "commercialized". My answer to that is: OK, and so is literally every other holiday we have, and hating everything is going to get very exhausting at some point. The "commercial world" is entirely optional to you. The people who are spending their money aren't somehow undermining the true meaning of love by "succumbing" to commercialism. They're just doing what makes them happy, the same way not spending money on a holiday you dislike makes you happy. Everybody's happy! You see how this isn't really a thing at all?

Another reason people hate on V-Day is the more obvious one — if you're single (#represent), you may hate seeing all the couples in relationships "rub it in your face" by existing on Valentine's Day. You feel lonely. You feel upset with yourself. And that notion makes me sad for you, because if that's why you hate the day, then you've got it all wrong. Valentine's Day isn't just about romantic love — it's about all kinds of love. The love you have for your family, for your friends, for your dog, for the cheese lady at the deli who sometimes sneaks in a free sample for you, for yourself. You have so many people in your life to be thankful for, who shaped you into the person you are today. This day is about ALL of them. Maybe try celebrating the day by being mindful of that, and you'll find that you don't actually hate Valentine's Day. You hate your mistaken idea of what Valentine's Day represents.

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And if I haven't sold you, and you really and genuinely hate Valentine's Day, at least be cool about it. Maybe avoid going on Facebook that day. Don't put yourself in a situation where you know you're going to be miserable or make other people around you miserable. You do you, the same way the non-Valentine's Day haters are doing them. Stay in your lane, or better yet, don't bother getting on the road at all that day. It's one damn day of the year, you can put your big kid pants on and wait to complain about your #singlewoes until tomorrow.

In conclusion: Remain calm. You are loved. Valentine's Day is not your enemy.

All of my non-transferrable Internet love,

A Single Valentine's Day Enthusiast

Images: Pixabay; Giphy (2)