Nothing says you love your bae quite like a Kanye West song, am I right? Thanks to the release of The Life of Pablo, you can show your love this Valentine's Day with brand new West lyrics that double as the "perfect" Valentines for that special someone in your life. You know, if you want that someone special in your life to break up with you on Valentine's Day. Whether you are looking for something romantic or cheeky — or something you can claim was meant to be romantic and cheeky — West has you covered. His jams on The Life of Pablo leave no piece of the spectrum of love unexplored, and express them in the perfect way to get you stuck with the check as your date crawls out the bathroom window to get out of this.
On The Life of Pablo, West doesn't exactly offer up lyrics that would make anyone swoon, and, honestly, most of the songs on the album either border on offensive or blow the border up completely. And yet, there are a surprising amount of lines that make it seem like Valentine's Day is totally a West-approved holiday, because the man has some serious opinions on love, and he is not afraid to share them. Whether you want to listen or not.
So let these new West lyrics inspire you... to know what not to say to someone you care about.
1. "I Impregnate Your Mind. Let's Have A Baby Without F*ckin', Yo."
Or... we could... not do that. At the very least, if we do do that, maybe we don't call it that. Or use this metaphor at all. Ever again.
2. "I Need To Know Right Now If You A Freak Or Not."
Song: "High Lights"
If you tried to book your Valentine's Day date on Tinder this year, this is the most straightforward V-Day message you could offer your companion. And, in return, they can offer you a succinct left swipe without a second thought.
3. "I Don't Blame You Much For Wanting To Be Free."
Especially if that break-up happened as a result of you and your ex's differing opinions about the artistic value of The Life of Pablo. You either love it or you hate it, and there's no middle ground.
4. "Beautiful Morning, Hear The Sound Of My Moaning, Babe. Nothing Unwanted."
Song: "Father Stretch My Hands, Pt. 1 & 2"
Just as a head's up, if you need to clarify that it's nothing unwanted, that kind of takes all the sexy passion out of this line.
5. "You're My Freak Dreams."
Song: "Feed Back"
I'm pretty unclear on what this even means, so this is obviously the perfect line to send out when you want to get rid of someone by confusing the heck out of them with your pickup line. Works every time.
6. "Lost And Found Out, Turned Out Our New Love."
You can feel there's definitely some heart behind whatever it is West is trying to say, but you don't get it, your date doesn't get it, and you'll probably spend all of dinner dissecting it instead of whispering sweet nothings into each other's ears.
7. "God, I’m Willing To... Give Up The Women Before I Lose Half Of What I Own."
It's basically the equivalent of making your date sign a prenup before you've even gotten to the dinner and a movie portion of the date. And do they want to have kids? And summer or spring wedding? That's good first date conversation, right? I mean, you just want them to know what you're about, and that's a secure future.
8. "Know What God Said When He Made The First Rainbow?"
Song: "Ultra Light Beams"
This is the new "did it hurt when you fell from heaven" of our generation. And, just like "did it hurt when you fell from heaven," it will probably only be about 2 percent effective at getting someone's attention.
9. "To Real Friends, To The End"
Song: "Real Friends"
West appreciates that sometimes your bestie is your Valentine, since your bestie is probably the only person that you'll have left on the holiday once you've sent out all these Kanye lines to your potential baes.
Say thank you to West for all the Valentine's Day ideas. Now that you know what not to do or say, your holiday has a great chance of being a lot brighter.
Images: Giphy (9)