Have you ever been curious about your dog's lineage? Naturally, there's an app for that! Plug in a picture of your favorite Fido, and What-Dog.net will guess your pup's breed — a service that has gone wildly viral this week. Only, it isn't dogs their four-legged friends people are plugging into the #whatdogrobot. Rather, the interwebz have been busy whittling down the hours until quittin' time by learning what type of dog they themselves (or, also popular, politicians) look like. Which got me thinking: Whose doggy alter ego do I want to discover?
Naturally, my first inclination was to plug in a picture of my actual dog to gauge how accurate this sucker really is. Since my dog is a rescue dog, I don't know exactly what makes up his bloodline, but we've always been under the assumption he is a German Shepherd/Alaskan Malamute mix. Not according to What-Dog.net, though! They reckon he's a Shiba Inu. Here's the thing, though. The description they gave — "lively, independent-minded, aloof toward strangers" — was actually pretty spot on. And the more I look at my pup, the more I kind of think, Hmm, maybe he is part Shiba Inu. Obviously, my next step was seeing if this technology could translate me, myself, into dog form.
Again, that description doesn't not sound like me. So feeling a bit heady from my success, I decided to really get crazy. Being the '90s kid I am and feeling nostalgic from looking at pictures of my dog as a puppy, I started plugging '90s screen icons into the #whatDogRobot. Here's what I got.
1. Rachel Green, Friends
With her infamous haircut and all, one might assume Rachel Green would have gotten a more fru-fru toy breed. No theories on the sense of smell, unless they were talking about her pregnancy with Emma — pregnant women smell everything.
2. Topanga Lawrence, Boy Meets World
Now this I can see! Topanga always marched to the beat of her own drum, and the Chinese Crested is definitely a dog that defies convention. You go, grrrrls.
3. Lelaina Pierce, Reality Bites
Lelaina was kind of always yapping at Troy . . . and she was certainly independent-minded. Come to think of it, Troy probably would have been a collie too. D'aww.
4. Zack Morris, Saved By The Bell
Something tells me Zack Morris wouldn't like the idea of Zack Morris being pegged as a sweet and cuddly Cavalier King Charles Spaniel. What's a sneaky dog? He'd be that.
5. Cher Horowitz, Clueless
Well, I don't think anyone is going to say "as if!" to this one. Raised to be pampered? Imperial mind-set? Check, and check.
6. Randy Taylor, Home Improvement
Hmm, this kind of works, no? Randy was kind of a rascal, but he was always there for his brothers when it counted. And he had some sweet moments with his 'rents, too. Sure, he could be a Shetland.
7. Corey Mason, Empire Records
Um, ding, ding, ding! This was totally Corey's vibe (Corey, who I wanted to be for most of the '90s). Although, come to think of it, it was that people-pleasing personality that was kind of her problem.
8. Jordan Catalano, My So-Called Life
Jordan, if you're a Dutch Shepherd Dog, I'm a Dutch Shepherd dog. Can Dutch Shepherd Dogs swoon? I so am right now. This dude's dreamy in any form, even as a dog.
9. Clarissa Darling, Clarissa Explains It All
Hey, what do you know? Quirky Clarissa Darling shares the same type as Zack Morris. Maybe in some weird alternate '90s TV universe, they would meet and be that odd couple that somehow works. Watch your back, Kelly Kapowski!
Images: Julie Sprankles/Bustle; NBC (2); ABC (3); Universal Pictures; Paramount Pictures; Warner Bros.; Nickelodeon