Who Needs 'Breaking Bad' College Class When We've Already Learned These 9 Lessons From the Show?
See something cool happening in pop culture? Make sure to tell your professors about it, because they might just make it into a course. Over the last few months, several colleges and grad programs have announced for-credit classes in subjects you'd never expect, ranging from a UC Irvine online course about The Walking Dead to "Politicizing Beyonce," a Gender Studies class offered by Rutgers University. Non-college students, getting jealous yet? Just wait until you hear about a just-announced class given by SUNY Buffalo, a graduate seminar called "Breaking Down: Breaking Bad ."
Yes, that's exactly what you think it is — a class focused on talking about, watching, and analyzing Breaking Bad. Starting this semester, 16 lucky students will get to dissect the show's "epic narrative," hear guest lectures from DEA officials and law experts, and study the required texts, aka all five seasons of the acclaimed AMC series, according to professor Bruce Jackson.
Thinking about re-enrolling? Not so fast. Sure, the Breaking Bad class sounds amazing, but do we really need a college class to tell us what we can learn from the show? After five and a half seasons (plus many hours of post-episode "what the hell just happened?!" reflection), there's nothing we don't know about meth making, money laundering, or breakfast eating, among other things. Here are the 9 biggest lessons we've already learned from Breaking Bad:
1. How to Make Meth
Well, kind of. Breaking Bad never explicitly went through each step of the process, but I'm sure that if you watched each of the show's meth-making lessons and montages carefully enough, you could probably piece together the exact formula of producing the drug. Getting the product to look blue, though, is a whole different story — leave that to pros like Heisenberg. Actually, just don't make meth. At all.
2. Don't Dissolve a Body in a Bathtub
The second most practical lesson from the show? Dead bodies should never, ever be dissolved in bathtubs, unless you want the tub to erode and fall through the floor. Rather, as Jesse learned early on, a specific type of plastic container is the route to go, because of the way the hydrofluoric acid works, and you know, science... reasons.
3. "Bitch" is an Appropriate Answer to Everything
Happy? Sad? Angry? Doesn't matter. When you're at a loss of what to say, "bitch," or some variation thereof, is your answer. As Jesse proved time and time again, it's short, sweet, and the perfect end to any sentence.
4. Looks Can Be Deceiving
One of the biggest takeaways from Breaking Bad is that the most innocent-looking people are often the most evil, or vice versa. Who would've thought that Gus Fring, the mild-mannered, community-oriented owner of a fast-food restaurant, was secretly a dangerous criminal mastermind? Or that the thing hardened, scary Mike Ehrmantraut cared most about in the world was his ten-year-old granddaughter? On Breaking Bad, and in real life, appearances can lie.
5. Breakfast is the Most Important Meal of the Day
Bad days at school, fighting parents, an annoying little sister — none of it matters when you've had a hearty meal of bacon and eggs for breakfast each morning. In a running joke within the Breaking Bad community, Walt Jr. was rarely seen without a utensil in his hand and an omelet on his plate. By the series' end, the kid had become the moral conscience of the show, even protecting his mother when his dad tried to attack. Are the two things unrelated? I think not.
6. All Colors Have Deeper Meanings
In the Breaking Bad world, no one wears a color just for how it looks. Marie's love of purple? It means she's safe, unaware, protective of her family. Saul's green jackets? Greed, money, and envy. Jesse's multi-colored, patterned outfits? They say that he's conflicted, unable to choose between good and bad. So take a good look at that outfit you're wearing, because chances are, it says a lot more about you than you probably think.
7. Never Date Jesse Pinkman
Or, since, you know, Jesse's a fictional character, a guy like Jesse Pinkman. Despite being the most beloved person on Breaking Bad, Jesse is not exactly dating material. The proof is in his exes: Jane, dead. Andrea, dead. Wendy, alive, but probably dead any day from her meth addiction. Word to the wise: drug dealers, no matter how likable, are probably not people you want to get involved with.
8. Never Give Up Your Share
Oh, how easily all of Walt's troubles could've been avoided if he'd only chosen not to sell his share of Gray Matter for a measly $5,000. Then again, we wouldn't have Breaking Bad, and so maybe it's okay that Walt made such a life-altering mistake. By selling his share in the company he co-founded so early on, Walt lost out on literally billions of dollars. Lesson: don't let relationship troubles, jealousy, or really, anything at all, get in the way of becoming Gretchen-and-Elliott-level rich.
9. In an Emergency, You Better Call Saul
Don't have a Saul in your life? Then get one, because there's nothing like a sleazy, flashy, Hello Kitty phone-owning lawyer to get you out of trouble when you need it. Without Saul, Walt and Jesse would've never been able to get away with half the stuff they did. He may have provided more comedic relief than anything else, but Saul Goodman was also a loyal friend, a smart lawyer, and a good person to have on speed-dial in an emergency.