Growing up, everyone always tells you to dream big. You're instilled with the idea that you should be reaching for the stars while all you really want to do is sit on the couch. Having big dreams but being lazy at the same time is a struggle I am very familiar with.
I'll admit that I do have very big dreams. I imagine my future while I'm taking a shower. I close my eyes and I can see a beautiful house, a kick-ass barbecue pit, and a room so elegantly put together I don't even sleep in it. In this fantasy I am sleeping on the couch, so as to not disturb the bedroom's ambience. I have a sweet job where I get paid to write movies and my two dogs are playing in the perfectly manicured yard. This dream is wonderfully alluring. It's also very far away, because I can be an extremely lazy person.
I tend to undercut my ambition with excuses. I will talk myself out of applying for a job because I don't want to deal with cover letters. I always analyze how much something will affect me before jumping head first into any project. Basically, I am my worst enemy. That is not to say that I do not actually do anything. I am the definition of high functioning. I just tend to take a bit longer to decide of things, and I often delay results because of it. I truly think that if I was a bit more motivated I could be well on my way to that beautiful house in the hills and the dogs. To my fellow high functioning lazy people with big dreams, this following list of struggles is for you:
1. But Like...Sleep
Sleep is the most important relationship I have in my life thus far. It's been the most consistent and dependable aspect of my 24 years on this planet. It's safe to say that sacrificing that relationship for a goal that's not guaranteed is not in my best interest on a daily basis. Sorry, Hollywood. You can keep your Oscars as long as I get to nap at noon.
2. Looking Presentable Is Annoying
Putting in effort to look good for interviews is the absolute worst. Do you really think I won't be able to send an email if I come in wearing a sweatshirt and jeans? While I understand that I'm trying to make a great first impression, I'm also a lazy dresser and will refuse to do it on principal. Getting dressed nicely takes time away from sleeping in the morning, which we already established is VERY important to me.
3. Can I Get A Shortcut?
Being lazy means finding shortcuts to get your things done faster. If you don't find a short cut you are much less likely to do something. And unfortunately, not doing something is going to get in the way of your big dreams.
4. Distractions, So Many Distractions
It is so easy to get distracted when you are a lazy person. You might have a due date for a project or an application, but you also have an entire season of Uncle Grandpa to watch.
5. Excuses Are A Girl's Best Friend
Being lazy often means making up excuses for why you don't want to do something. Networking is hard, so why not say that you aren't feeling well in order to avoid that drink meeting? No, I don't want to meet over coffee either. Why? Because it's Girl Scout season and I am in the mood for some samoas.
6. Procrastination Nation
Once you are in the flow of things you can work for hours. Being lazy means you have an extra hard time getting into the space where you flow. You tend to wait until the very last possible moment to get started on things.
7. Self Motivation Is Hard
Getting yourself excited about something is so hard when you are lazy! Nothing jumps out at you right away. You are always weighing the options against doing nothing and having a great time.
Basically, you need to start motivating yourself. That could mean a variety of things but mostly it just means trying to be more active in your life. Try harder, apply to things, and make little benchmark goals to achieving your big ones. Life is too short to let your sleep habits get in the way of a wonderful future.
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