While some were worried that the Super Bowl XLVIII Halftime Show would suffer from the odd pairing of Bruno Mars and the Red Hot Chili Peppers... frankly, it did. The show's highs and lows reflected the bizarre pairing of heroin-fueled rock and teenage-girl-approved pop. And of course, there were far too many young girls screaming about the groin-thrusting and sexy sex songs. We're sure a head-shaking thinkpiece or two will follow.
Bruno opened the show with a risky drum solo, which ended up being impressive, and showed us that he's more than just a killer hair model and suit-wearer. He then got up on the stage to sing "Locked Out of Heaven," and he showed female pop stars that coordinated dancing isn't just for Beyonce. His pelvic thrusting rivaled Michael Jackson's, and his splits made us think of a young James Brown. Don't even get us started on the suits, though: they were shiny beacons of classiness, and we loved them.
After Mr. Mars got through a grinding "Treasure" and a jumpy "Runaway Baby," the halftime show was ruined. Anthony Keidis's old man porn-stache and weird tights only distracted from his tired performance of "Give It Away." It was loud, it was confusing, and unlike older Chili Peppers performances, it was boring. We can give Anthony a break though, since he's 51-years-old. If we're rocking that hard in middle-age, we'd be thrilled.
After that not-so-great performance, which was perhaps meant to reflect the shut-out game, Bruno brought it back with some serious class. The armed services segment was sweet, and his retro performance of "Just the Way You Are" brought us back to '90s R&B, complete with throwback firework graphics.
Maybe next year they'll learn to pick just one band for halftime. But Bruno, our hats are off to you, and we're all going to try to do the splits later.