Zach Braff Would Make 'Magic Mike 2' Unbearably Awkward

So Zach Braff sort-of-jokingly-but-not-really wants to be in Magic Mike 2, and we're totally grossed out by it. If we can't handle the thought of J.D. having sex with Elliot on Scrubs, pretty sure we can't handle him shaking his junk at us in a stripper movie.

But there is so much more happening here than just Zach Braff's plea to be in Magic Mike 2 . He's all "hahaha jk but no really, look at my abs Channing Tatum, put me in your movie" and it's kinda awkward. Do you think he actually watched Magic Mike in the first place? Because part of the joke was that it was all these classically stunning Hollywood hunks poking fun at how hot they are. But like ... Zach Braff is more awkward-cousin-at-your-Bat-Mitzvah than he is stripper sexgod. Sorry.

Clearly he has very little understanding of what his appeal is, which is sad because if Zach acted a bit less douchey, he could probably work the shaggy-boy-next-door angle.

Zach's inner turmoils aside, his Magic Mike pipe-dream also insults the rest of the genetically gifted males in Hollywood. It isn't that Zach isn't good looking, it's just that he is no Channing Tatum. Scroll through with me, let's look at the actual stars of Magic Mike in suits at their premiere.

Jason Merritt/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images
Jason Merritt/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images
Jason Merritt/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images
Jason Merritt/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images

There are no words for Alex Pettyfer. Plus yuuuuum. Suits.

Then there's Zach Braff, who actually made this face for his muscle selfie:

Yeah. No thanks. There are way too many sickeningly gorgeous guys lolling about in Hollywood with their six-packs and seductive stares for this to ever happen. Sorry J.D. ... I mean Zach. Maybe next time?