John Oliver Takes On Donald Trump (Er, Drumpf)

by Andi O'Rourke

Last Week Tonight with John Oliver is back in its stride after a three-month hiatus, with Oliver devoting the main segment of his most recent show to verbally annihilating former reality show host Donald Trump and his presidential aspirations. After not paying much attention to the Trump campaign, Oliver finally took on Trump — sorry, Drumpf — on the show. His organized and nuanced takedown made for great television, and should be essential viewing for anyone in a Super Tuesday state.

Oliver opened the show with a brief discussion on the deteriorating political situation in Egypt (I'm pretty sure he could have made a pyramid scheme joke or two in there, right?) before highlighting the perennial difficulties that President Barack Obama has had when it comes to closing the Guantanamo Bay detention center. Also, I need to know who on Earth Greg (or is it Gregg?) is, and I need to know yesterday. Apparently, he's the one who has actually been in charge these past eight years.

Then Oliver got around to The Donald: "Our main story tonight, and I can't believe I'm saying this, is Donald Trump. I say that knowing that every time his name is said out loud, he has a shattering orgasm." That might be the worst possible mental image to have late at night on a Sunday evening, but it got a lot better from there.

Likening him to "America's back mole" which has gotten big enough to warrant an emergency trip to the dermatologist, Oliver rolled tape of Trump's apeish performance at the most recent GOP debate, as if we needed any more proof that he lacks presidential demeanor. (Bizarrely, it's not even the first time in this election cycle that Trump has trolled Rubio with water). Factoring in the multiple systemic water crises nationwide — such as drought, metal and chemical poisoning, and cost — Trump's antics seem even more callous.

Addressing Trump's relationship with the truth with jabs like "Trump views the truth like a lemur does the Supreme Court vacancy" and "'I'm rich, therefore I tell the truth' has the same internal logic as 'I'm a vegan, therefore I know karate,'" Oliver finished off the program by announcing a campaign of his own. In an apparent attempt to deflate Trump's momentum, Oliver reminded the audience that Trump's Prussian predecessors had actually changed their name to "Trump" from the infinitely more amusing "Drumpf." "The sound produced when a morbidly obese pigeon flies into the window of a foreclosed Old Navy." Ouch.

Finally, reminding Trump to honor his heritage (just as he told Jon Stewart in a public spat in May of 2013), Oliver rolled out revised campaign merchandise, revealed that he had applied for a trademark on the name, and showed us an awesome mock-up for replacement signage at Trump's properties. DRUMPF was spelled out in flashing golden lights, accompanied by pyrotechnics and an exuberant Oliver. At least if He Who Should Really, Really, Not Be Named Because Maybe If We Stop Talking About Him He'll Lose His Power And Go Away remains a national figure, John Oliver will be there to roast him to a burnt crisp.

Images: Last Week Tonight/HBO