In a world where everything is Luke and Lorelai and nothing hurts, I like to imagine that the two had just one, tiny, little, perfect, baseball cap wearing baby together. He'd go and spend weekends with his big sister Rory who would read him all the classics. He'd go to Grandma Emily's house for dinner, but he'd make sure his mom actually arrived on time. His dad would teach him how to brew a proper pot of coffee for his mom by age 7. And cousin Jess would show him how to build a Soapbox car for the derby with optimum speed. Just go with me on this. Listen, I have absolutely no clue if Luke and Lorelai will have a kid in the Gilmore Girls revival, but a girl can dream. Can't she?
I'm not going to argue whether or not Luke and Lorelai are still together, because it's an absurdly preposterous thing to question. Well, that, and the fact that, according to TV Line, Lauren Graham said at the ATX Television Festival in 2015 that, "I think they’re together, 100 percent." So, I'm going to take her word for it. Mostly because she is Lorelai in a sense and because this scenario fits in well with my personal Luke and Lorelai baby agenda. At least I'm honest in my Gilmore Girls bias, guys.
Here is what a Luke and Lorelai child would probably be like, in an ideal world:
1. First And Foremost, I Think It'd Be A Boy
It'd be fun to see Luke and Lorelai with a son considering, no matter how much we try to deny it, he already has a daughter, and Lorelai has the best one on planet Earth. It's just better to not compete with someone with that sort of a title. Plus, it'd give me Jess and Luke feels.
2. He'd Be Incredibly Thoughtful, But Also Humble
Like, he'd ask Luke if he could help him make Lorelai birthday pancakes, but wouldn't wake her up to eat them until noon.
3. He'd Be Enrolled In Classes At Miss Patty's Dance Studio
Because he's lively, active, and attention-getting.
4. But He'd Also Be Outdoorsy And A Member Of The Boy Scouts
As TV Line relayed, Scott Patterson did say at the ATX Television Festival that he thinks, "Luke either stayed in town… or he closed [his diner] down and moved to a lake 40 miles outside of town. He reopened Luke’s Diner [there] and it’s a bait and tackle shop. He sells camping gear, as well." Maybe he did do that, just with Lorelai and Luke Jr., who they affectionately call LJ, in tow.
5. He'd Ask Really Morbid Existential Questions That Luke Wouldn't Know How To Answer
He gets it from his mama.
6. He'd Be Rambunctious
Because Luke sort of prophesied that he would be, and also because Rory was an angel child. You don't get two of those.
7. He'd Be Confusingly Effervescent
You know, given who his parents are.
8. He'd Be At The Top Of His Class
Because Luke and Lorelai already raised one genius, and they weren't even trying.
9. Those Smarts Would Be Partly Due To Rory, Who Would Instill Within Him An Unparalleled Work Ethic
And he'd go on to be a Yale legacy, obvi.
10. He'd Be Almost Too Charismatic
The special type of charisma that lets people get away with murder. You know, just like Cousin Jess (much to Luke's chagrin).
11. He'd Have An Affinity For Hats Of All Kinds
I mean, it just makes sense.
All right, now I'm emotionally invested. I need little LJ in my life. Make it happen, Gilmore Girls powers that be. Make. It. Happen.
Image: Warner Bros. Television; Giphy (12)