Behind Every Trump Is A Drumpf

Thanks to a segment from John Oliver on Last Week Tonight, the world is now blatantly aware that Donald Trump's ancestors changed their familial moniker from "Drumpf" to "Trump." Let's be honest — Drumpf just doesn't possess the same amount of prestige as the Trump name, and now America instead has a GOP frontrunner with the last name of Trump. The Last Week Tonight host encouraged viewers to call the businessman by his family's original name, but there may be some ways the original Drumpf was different — and better — than the Trump of today.

The GOP front-runner's grandfather, born Friedrich Drumpf, immigrated from Germany in 1885. At some point after immigrating to New York State, Friedrich Drumpf instead became Fred Trump, and he was the first in his family line to amass a small fortune to leave behind to his family ($500,000 in today's dollars).

Though there are some definite key differences, there are a couple similarities Drumpf and Trump share. One is that Drumpf was known for bucking what was expected of him — despite the fact his family members were typically winemakers and barbers, Drumpf eventually left both professions behind and briefly moved out west to work in (you guessed it) real estate.

Nevertheless, the differences between Drumpf and Trump definitely add up:

1. Drumpf Is German, Trump Is "Obviously" American

Drumpf immigrated from Kallstadt, Germany (isn't it painfully ironic that Trump's grandfather was an immigrant?). Trump, as he mentions every chance he gets, is a true-blooded American (and one that consequently makes me want to move to Canada).

2. Drumpf Is A Winegrower, Trump Doesn't Drink

Fred Drumpf, and all of the Drumpf family members that came before him, were winegrowers in Germany. Trump on the other hand, despite once owning his own brand of vodka, stays away from the drink.

3. Drumpf Doesn't Care About Making A Profit, Trump Is Basically Scrooge McDuck

While this can't necessarily be said for the Drumpf man himself, Drumpf the brand — as launched on Last Week Tonight — doesn't concern itself with turning a profit. Drumpf hats are sold at cost, so no money is made from selling them. Trump, on the other hand, cares very deeply about how much money he makes.

4. Drumpf Is An Immigrant, Trump Speaks Out Against Them

This is definitely the starkest difference between the two men. Though Trump generally seems to reserve his hate for Latin American immigrants, I'm not so sure he would have even liked the German immigrant. Surely he took someone's job, right?

5. Drumpf Had A True Rags To Riches Story, Trump Inherited A "Small Loan" Of $2 Million

Drumpf came to the United States with little more than his name. He was able to turn that around and collect a rather sizable estate for his family. Trump likes to spin a similar rags to riches story, but it has an important catch: his began with his father's "small loan" of $2 million.

6. Drumpf Wouldn't Question A Birth Certificate, Trump Is An Original Birther

Chances are as an immigrant, Drumpf wouldn't be one to go around questioning other people's birth certificates. But Trump, further removing himself from the Drumpf name, was one of the original birthers to question President Obama's nationality.

7. Drumpf Was A Barber, Trump Has Some Pretty Questionable Hair

Though Trump vehemently denies wearing a toupee, opponents of the GOP frontrunner love to poke fun at his unusual signature hair. His hair choices become doubly unusual now that it's common knowledge that granddaddy Drumpf was a barber himself.

These show just some of the differences between Drumpf and Trump, a legacy the German immigrant would probably be shocked to have left behind. When it comes down to it, it looks like Drumpf may have made a better candidate for president, too.