We’ve all seen those couples who just look bored all the time when they are with each other. It leaves many people fearful that this will one day happen in their own relationships. If this seems familiar, next you might find yourself looking for signs your relationship has become boring, and praying it hasn’t. You don’t want to be that couple. However, after a long time with a partner, that magic of the honeymoon period is bound to fade out, even if only a bit. Then you’re there with your partner in a really comfortable zone, without even the slightest hint of spontaneity ever, and running out of things to talk about and you have the awful realization… you’re now a boring couple.
Don’t get me wrong, boring doesn’t always have to be a bad thing, as long as it’s not making either you or your partner unhappy. Some people prefer a set routine in their relationship, and are both on the same page in regards to not wanting to be spontaneous. These people might also be the type who are OK with not having a particularly intimate component of their relationship anymore. If it works for them, great. Most of us though want some spice in the relationship. We strive to be a couple who has a lot to talk about no matter how long we’ve been together, and who surprise each other here or there with a special night out. For those who fall into the latter category, this article is directed towards you.
Here are seven signs your relationship has become boring, and some thoughts on what to do to overcome it.
1. You Don’t Get Butterflies Anymore
When you first started dating, you felt butterflies constantly. Now, you barely recall what they feel like. While we can’t expect that we’re going to feel flutters in our stomach every single time our partner kisses us for the rest of our lives, a boring relationship may see those butterflies diminish far more quickly than a happy, healthy one. Think about it this way: When it comes to taking things to the bedroom, are you more about watching TV than getting really into it? Same goes with your partner. If you guys are suffering through a boring relationship, you might notice the partner who once loved getting it on is now far more interested in other hobbies, according to Gurl.com. The outlet added while it’s common for relationships to lose that initial sex drive, it doesn’t have to be that way.
2. You Feel An Overall Lack Of Interest In Your Partner
Yep, those butterflies have fluttered far away and you guys are slowly but surely avoiding the bedroom as well, but you also have generally lost interest in each other, too. This means that you’re now plainly disinterested in what’s happening with your partner, whether that’s in regard to their job, or their family life, or their social life. If your partner starts talking and you immediately tune out what they’re saying, this point applies to you. According to Psychology Today, this lack of interest in your partner’s life might have to do with the fact that you’ve come to realize the two of you don’t have much in common. Once we’ve reached this realization, love can start to fade, the outlet added.
3. Spontaneity? What’s That?
Think about it… when was the last time you guys did something out of the blue together or for each other? If you genuinely can’t remember, this could possibly be another sign you’re relationship is beginning to skew towards boring. Of course, we need to all remain realistic in that you guys aren’t living in a romantic comedy. Every moment of your lives isn’t going to be filled with some sort of spontaneous trip to Paris for the weekend. A bit of spontaneity is important, though.
The Daily Mail cited a study that showed most couples are unhappy in their relationship, and many of the participants noted a lack of spontaneity as the reason. David Brown of the website UKDating.com told the outlet, “The sad fact of the matter is that when people first start dating, they go to great lengths to appeal to each other by being sexy, romantic and giving… But once that honeymoon period is over, it is all too easy to start taking each other for granted. Once couples fall in love and settle down, they fall out of the habit of making an effort.”
4. You Don’t Mind At All When Your Partner Cancels Dates
He or she can’t make it to dinner tonight? Eh, who cares. Again, after being together for a while you might begin to lose that spark that drives you to want to be together at every single moment, but if you regularly don’t mind if your SO misses out of things, this sign is pointing right at you. According to Cosmopolitan, a hint that your relationship is becoming boring is if you’d almost rather stay in alone and eat snacks than have gone on your scheduled date.
5. There Are Many Times When You Have Nothing To Talk About
The noise of birds chirping is more familiar to the two of you than each other’s voices at this point. This is because you have nothing to talk about, really. In the past I’ve heard people say things like, “Oh, well after a while of being together you just really run out of things to talk about.” Then, I look at my parents who are hands down the happiest couple I know, and they never run out of things to say to each other. They’ve been together since they were 16.
That overall lack of interest in each other that we talked about earlier plays into this for sure. According to Gurl.com, you’re out to dinner and it’s like being there with a cardboard box. It’s not that either one of you is mad or annoyed, it’s just that sheer boredom resonating right there at the table.
6. You Have Wandering Eyes… Often
If you’re someone who has a tendency to cheat or you have an open relationship, this sign is going to be a lot harder to read. However, if you’re someone who thinks cheating is a major no-no, yet now find yourself tempted, consider if it’s the boredom in your relationship that’s giving you that push in the wrong direction. According to Madame Noire, a major sign of boredom in a relationship is if you or your partner seem to have already checked out and started seeking a replacement.
7. You Feel A Sense Of Excitement When He Or She Is Not Around
I’m not talking about those random days here and there when your partner is really ruffling your feathers and you’re pumped when they leave the house for a while. This is more of an “all the time” feeling of excitement when your partner isn’t there. According to Cosmopolitan, this yet another sign you’re bored with the relationship. You cherish those moments when you can have your independence back from your partner.
If many of these signs seem familiar to you, you might be wondering what you can do to spice your relationship back up. Psychology Today recommended trying to come up with ways to talk about new and unique things that can re-spark your interest in one another’s lives. Another simple way to help beat boredom, according to the outlet, is to consider changing up your regular routine a bit. Do you always go to the same restaurant every Friday night, and then come home, watch Netflix, and fall asleep? This coming week, try traveling to your nearest city for a meal and making a night of it there instead. Little things like this can prove to be very helpful. If you think the problems are more deep-seated, Psychology Today recommended couples’ counseling where you can speak to a professional who gave give their perspective. Counseling might just seem like it’s for couples who argue, but it can work for managing that boredom piece of your relationship, too.
Bottom line: If you’re experiencing boredom in your relationship, it’s not the end of the world. As long as you can pinpoint that this is the problem and take action, you and your partner can both avoid reaching the point of any overall unhappy relationship.
Images: Pixabay (8)