Becoming a Bridezilla? 6 Ways to Have a Gorgeous Wedding Without Losing Your Mind
We've all known a woman who can't talk about anything except her wedding day. She shoves her ring in your face before you even get a word out and manages to work her wedding plans into every conversation. It's as if she actually ascribes to the words of Candace Bergen's wedding planner guru character in Bride Wars: "A wedding marks the first day of the rest of your life. You have been dead until now. Were you aware of that? You're dead right now." And now she has come alive, and a horrible monster has been unleashed, so horrible they made a WE tv show about it.
You could never become that person, right? Not so fast. According to Psychology Today, almost all women have the potential to become bridezillas. Planning a wedding is stressful, and most of the pressure falls on the bride. But your fate is not inevitable. Here are 6 dos and don'ts to keep you from becoming the bride you don't want to be:
Do not go on a crash diet
Of course you want to look your best on your wedding day, but do not go on a crash diet that will leave you not only unhealthy, but also super crabby. Bistro MD recommends starting to eat healthier and exercise at least three months before your big day. Look for small, incremental changes — most health experts agree that weight loss of more than one to two pounds per week can be dangerous, and the results will not last. If you wait until the last month and then just starve yourself, you will only be miserable and make weird decisions and yell at people, all of which you will later regret.
Don't act like your bridesmaids are hand maidens that should worship your every move (and don't make them wear ugly dresses)
Your bridesmaids are not your ladies in waiting like in that movie Elizabeth and they are not members of the entourage on the show Entourage. They are your friends, most likely your good friends, and your relationship with them should not change just because you are getting married. Because they love you, they will be happy to throw you parties and help you plan, but if you demand they travel for every event, buy you presents for your four showers, not bring their partners (because they aren't getting married) and then put them in some hideous creamsicle of a dress, you will hurt them and they will rebel in some way. Don't make your wedding such a strain on your friendship that it never recovers.
Don't talk about the wedding as if you were paid by the minute
As the great Miranda Hobbes once said to bridezilla Charlotte York, "It's your day. You get a day. Not a week." The entire world does not revolve around you because you are getting married. Yes, it is extremely special, but weddings happen everyday. Plus, if you put in all your energy and expectations every second of every day into this one event, you are bound to be disappointed.
Do not neglect your fiancé or your friends or your work
There is a jewelry commercial out there right now in which the groom talks about how on his wedding day, no one really gives a sh*t about him, as it is all about the bride. That just seems wrong. Shouldn't we care about the groom too? Yes, you are super important, but don't neglect the person you're marrying. It is and (should be) an important day for him, and he should be included in the planning. Monica Ferguson, co-founder of shoe protection company Solemates (which works with a lot of brides) told Bustle, "Woman risk becoming bridezilla's when they become self-obsessed with their wedding and forget that despite being told that it's "their" day, it's not. A wedding is a celebration of a union, not a person."
And as 16 Candles taught us, never be so obsessed with your own wedding that you can't even remember your kid sister's sweet 16 (though that sister was hilarious).
Do not go way over budget
We all deserve to feel like princesses on our wedding day, but you can do that without having to sell your body parts or making your retired parents go back to work. An expensive wedding doesn't always equal perfection. Though the Kardashians would find it hard to believe, you can have an awesome wedding without spending huge bucks (but still, some bucks). There are certain short cuts you can take with wedding budgets. For example, trimming the guest list (just cut it down), making your own centerpieces, working with a designer to dress up a store bought cake, not having paper programs and forgetting the favors. Oh, and maybe not getting the most expensive dress ever.
Relax a little
Have fun! It's a wedding your planning, not the Olympics Opening Ceremony! It doesn't have to be perfect to be beautiful.