21 Celebrity Teeth Whitening Instagram Selfies, Ranked By Ridiculousness — PHOTOS
Sometimes, celebrities can be shameless on Instagram. From detox teas to waist trainers to teeth whiteners, sometimes it seems like every B-list star is hawking some kind of ~self-improvement product~ to make some extra dough. Do it for the 'gram, right? (Or the money. Definitely for the money.) Don't get me wrong: If you have a huge following on social media, posing with a glow-in-the-dark teeth whitening tray or some cheetah-printed corset is a fairly easy way to bring in some extra cash. We all have to earn a living. And if an opportunity is presented that involves posting an #ad #sponsored #selfie once in a while to earn a bit of extra money, I can definitely see the appeal. Still, the abundant, blatant promotion and used car salesman-like captions can just make the whole thing seem embarrassingly fake (and embarrassingly thirsty). Which is exactly why it was totally necessary to compile and rank the most ridiculous celeb teeth whitening Instagram posts.
TBH, it seems mostly like a reality star thing: Everyone from Kylie Jenner and Scott Disick to the ladies of the Teen Mom franchise to half the cast of Jersey Shore have hopped on board to the whole teeth whitener craze. But every once in a while, there will be a singer or an actor thrown into the mix, and it's always interesting to see a surprising face.
So, here is a wide sampling of celeb (and "celeb") teeth whitening Instagrams, ranked from least to most ridiculous.
21. Teresa Giudice
Out of all the celebrities on this list, perhaps it is most understandable as to why Teresa Giudice (who was released from prison in December, just in time for her husband to spend the next four years in jail) is promoting teeth whiteners.
20. Blac Chyna
Initially, I was going to put this photo much further down on the list of ridiculousness, but then I realized Blac Chyna should be getting ALL of the points here: She's actually USING the product in her promotion.
19. Amber Rose
Sure, there may be something weird going on with her eyelash in this Instagram, but at least Rose attempted to personalize the hashtags — which is more than I can say for the majority of celeb promoters.
18. Melissa Gorga
It doesn't surprise me in the least that Real Housewives of New Jersey star Melissa Gorga is hawking teeth whiteners on Instagram.
17. Janel Parrish
The Pretty Little Liars star is literally glowing from those UV rays.
16. Ashley Benson
Besides the fact that Ashley Benson has been pretty successful on the career and fame front — a leading role as Hanna on Pretty Little Liars for the past six years hasn't been too shabby — the most ridic thing about this Instagram is the fact that she's smiling with her mouth closed! Though some celebs choose to cover their mouth with the product in the 'gram, Benson purposely left hers uncovered, which makes the closed-mouth smile even more strange. Where are the pearly whites we were promised?
15. Sammi "Sweetheart" Giancola
Along with the rest of the Jersey Shore ladies (see below), Sammi Sweetheart #relaxeswhilewhitening. Too bad the light from the whitener is so blindingly bright we can't see the effects.
14. Jenni "JWoww" Farley
JWoww is a frequent 'grammer when it comes to random products, but at least this one offers a bit more than the usual spiel — she claims the teeth whitener is safe to use while pregnant! Good to know.
13. Kail Lowry
The ridiculousness of the Teen Mom 2 star's post is solely in the caption — it just seems forced, fake, and clearly not written by the reality star herself. And I know she's a writer... I've read her memoir! We could've done better here.
12. Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi
90 percent off?! What a (ridiculous) deal.
Ciara's had her fair share of hits ("Goodies" and "1, 2 Step" are still my jam), so it was a bit surprising to see her hawking products on the 'gram. She even points out how she's about to go on tour (where artists make most of their money) — is the teeth whitening ad really necessary?
10. Lea Michele
What would Rachel Berry think?
9. Porsha Williams
Fortunately for us all, Porsha Williams takes the time out of her "busy aunt" routine to make sure her teeth stay pearly white (and everyone on Instagram knows it).
8. Lisa Rinna
The scariest thing about this pic is that giant syringe, which I assume is part of the whole teeth whitening kit but looks way more like it's going to inject some fillers into her lips. (Sorry.)
7. Jade & Tanner Tolbert
The couple who whitens their teeth together, stays together. Or something.
6. Jussie Smollett
Jussie Smollett, you're on Empire. Why?
5. Lindsay Lohan
This just makes me more sad than anything. With LL's career once so full of promise, it's disheartening to see her now promoting teeth whiteners on Instagram.
4. Khloé Kardashian
The reason the Kardashian-Jenners are so high up on this list is simply because they're the Kardashian-Jenners — easily some of the biggest celebrities in the world, complete with a long-running reality series, apps, books, clothing lines and therefore some serious money. The extra is promo just seems kinda unnecessary.
3. Kylie Jenner
Of every celebrity on this list, Kylie Jenner is the one at the highest peak of her fame right now. Why then, does she feel the need to promote a teeth whitener on Instagram? She may have felt the same way — which is exactly why this pic has been deleted.
2. Chris Soules
Please God I hope Chris Soules actually drives around looking at farms with that thing in his mouth.
1. Scott Disick
Sorry, Scott Disick. The Lord is not only the most frequent offender when it comes to promoting all of those teeth whiteners (his feed is chock-full of 'em), but he wins the award for most ridiculous thanks to an accidental copy and paste of the caption instructions. Because I just so happened to be scrolling through Instagram at the right time (and I was able to werk those screenshot skills before he edited the caption), Scott Disick gets the number one spot on this list. I'm still laughing.