It’s easy to get wrapped up in a romantic relationship. You’re often so into your partner that you sometimes forget to be into yourself. But it’s always helpful to take a step back and analyze your partnership, and there are some important questions to ask when dating someone. Depending on how you answer them, it will say a lot about your current love life and where you stand.
Being a relationship expert and life coach, I have seen one too many people stay in relationships without realizing how truly unhappy they are. You may be so focused on your relationship and making things work that you lose sight of the important things. You forget about your wants and needs, and what makes you happy. Or sometimes, you might know deep down inside that this partner isn’t the one for you, but it’s too hard to really look at that magnifying glass.
With that being said, it’s better to be fully aware than lost in the land of denial. It’s time to reevaluate your partnership to see if you two have a solid foundation, or if there are any cracks that needs repairing. Ultimately, if you answer these questions and realize your relationship might be headed for a dead end, then it’s time to take the wheel and steer it in the right direction.
1. Am I Truly Happy?
It’s easy to quickly say a simple “yes” to this question. However, you should dig deeper and truly look at if you're happy within this relationship. Are you happy on a surface level, or does it go deeper? Are you just as happy as you portray yourself to be on Instagram and Facebook, or is it all a facade? You’re not always going to be happy all the time in a relationship. That's just not realistic. However, if you have more unhappy days with your partner than happy days, it’s time to take a second look.
2. Could I Live Without This Person?
One might think I’m going to say that the “best” response is if you answered no, because that means you truly love your partner. However, the opposite is true. Obviously, you should feel extremely sad at the thought of not being with your partner anymore. However, you should absolutely be able to live and survive without him or her. Often, we rely too much on our partner and lose our independence. You want to make sure that as sad as it may be, you could still be OK alone at the end of the day. The relationship you have with yourself is the most important, so make sure you are tending to that as well.
3. Am I Being Myself?
In the beginning of dating a person, you sometimes show the best version of yourself. Your moodiness doesn’t come out. You’re pleasant in the mornings, when you know you’re far from a morning person. But as time goes on, you should be able to show that not so pretty side. If you can show your somewhat unpleasant sides, then you’re truly being yourself to the max. However, if you are hiding bits and pieces, you may want to start revealing more of the whole you. Because being Mr. or Ms. Nice forever is exhausting.
4. Are My Needs Being Met?
Occasionally in relationships we forget about our own needs. While we are busy tending to our partner’s wants and desires, we are left slightly unfulfilled. If you are a giver that sometimes forgets to take, you need to become aware of this problem. A relationship is a two-way street and you deserve to have your needs met too.
5. What Do I Want Out Of This Relationship?
It’s all fun and games until someone gets hurt, or if you two aren’t on the same relationship page. It’s OK to not have an end goal when you’re dating someone. But this has to be OK with both of you. If you know deep down inside that you don’t see a long future together, you need to make sure your significant other has similar expectations.
6. Am I Able To Speak Up And Communicate?
You can think your relationship is A-OK because you two never argue or fight. However, just because you aren’t talking about issues, doesn’t mean there aren't any. Can you easily bring up concerns you have with your partner? Can you two work through difficult moments and come together? Or are you sweeping things under the carpet? It’s time to reevaluate your communication with your loved one if you have things you want to say but can’t.
Every relationship is different, but these questions are universal. Evaluate if you're really, truly happy in your relationship and as an individual, and go from there. It will help you see your partnership clearly.