The genius that is Jimmy Kimmel released the fictional trailer the world has been waiting for today: Batman & Superman vs. Bridget Jones. The Bridget Jones Batman v Superman mash-up trailer uses clever cuts from both movies to create the scenario we should have been anticipating all along. After all, Bridget's been dating a while. It was only a matter of time before she had dated all possible mortal men and had to start dating tortured superheroes like Batman and Superman instead. Here's how I think it would go down, if we were watching this amazing-looking film for real.
Bridget had met him at one of Magda's dinner parties. He wasn't the sort of man Magda usually invited to hers: all of Magda's other male friends were so buttoned up and terribly proper. They always wore the right Savile Row tailoring, had gone to see all the latest Guardian-reviewed London theatre, had won Olympic gold medals in the great British art of small talk. But this Bruce guy: half the time he slouched around, barely talking to anyone, sulking in the corner with a whiskey (on the rocks, obviously) and the rest of the time he was attired in some sort of elaborate grown-up-man bat costume. A part of her liked it. Fast forward two years later, and she'd rather climb out of a toilet window than cross paths with him at any sort of party, dinner-centric or otherwise. The obvious had ensued. They'd dated, moved rather fast, become inseparable, he'd even moved into hers. Things had seemed close to perfect for a while.
But there was always this young boy he kept around with him, Robbie? Robert? It got embarrassing, this guy showing up at Bridget's TV networking parties and dinner parties at Magda's house and tugging at Bruce's arm until they left. Despite being one of the largest cities in Europe, London remained curiously small in terms of running into ex boyfriends. Bruce's unexplained absences became harder and and harder to justify. What exactly were these 4 a.m. emergencies that kept happening? So, one day she broke things off. It had been harder than expected, and it wasn't her fault that occasionally, on running into Bruce after one white wine spritzer too many, that she relented, giant pants be damned.
But she was trying very hard to give him up completely. Go cold turkey. She'd met the most marvellous man a few weeks back. Mr. Kent. He was a reporter and he was in London for the spring doing some investigation into evil financiers or something. He was a whole different story to Bruce. He was a gentleman. Treated her like a princess. Held the door for her, made breakfast for her.
Everything had been going so well... until she took that test in the toilet.
I'm not saying that Colin Firth and Patrick Dempsy aren't dreamy, but I have to say. If these two movies really did occupy the same universe, and Bridget and her baby were torn between Batman and Superman instead, I can't even decide which team I would be on.
Check out the trailer below and choose your side.
Images: ABC Studios (4); Sophie Atkinson/Bustle (3)