Patricia Quotes From 'Southern Charm' Season 3 Premiere That Are As Marvelous As One Of Michael's Martinis

She's baaaaaack. The fabulous Bravolebrity who taught me everything I know about dressing drinks, medicine, taking your personal bartender to someone else's party, and carrying high heels on a silver tray has returned to the small screen. And thank juleps, er, goodness. On Monday night's Southern Charm Season 3 premiere, Patricia, Whitney's forever divine mother, appeared in one scene. And oh, how she made that one scene count! In true Patricia style, she sauntered onto the screen and promptly unleashed a Lewis bag of ice cold zingers. And I was as pleased as a bowl of Southern Comfort punch.

Sure, the season technically commenced with that flash-forward dinner party fight scene, but it did not truly begin until Patty was firing off one hilarious line after another. And yes, I've selected my favorite Patricia lines from the Season 3 premiere.

Insta-Classic Pat Line #1: “Couldn’t You Have Used The Intercom Rather Than Yell Up The Stairs?”

Yeah, Whitney. What gives?

Insta-Classic Pat Line #2: “When Michael [The Butler/Personal Bartender] Goes Away On Vacation, I Kind Of Forgo Martinis. Because I Have No Interest In An Inferior Martini.”

She will not give a bogus martini the time of day. I admire her devotion to her passion.

Insta-Classic Pat Line #3: “I Have More Caftans Now Than Lawrence Of Arabia.”

...But what about The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills ?

Insta-Classic Pat Line #4: “Hm.”

After Whitney said something about the restaurant he's working on, Patricia let out a small "Hm" and took a sip of wine. It was a superbly chilling moment. I will hold it in my heart always.

And on that note, I suppose it's time for my medicine. And by "my medicine," I mean "green tea." I hope Pat isn't too disappointed in my squareness.

Image: Bravo