Sharon Knows What Bieber Needs

Justin Bieber has a lot of fans but apparently, Sharon Osbourne isn't a Belieber. The Talk co-host stopped by Chelsea Lately where she talked liposuction and how she'd handle Bieber if she were his manager. And from the sound of things, Osbourne would be the perfect person to reverse the "Confident" singer's current downward spiral of drag racing and hot-boxing private jets. Her methods, according to her interview on Lately, might be a little unconventional but she has managed her husband Ozzy Osbourne's career for over three decades, so she probably knows something that Bieber's camp doesn't.

She told the talk show host that IF she were the Bieber's current manager, he'd be in for a rude awakening. She told Handler:

...After they pried my foot from his ass, it's all about the music. If you make great music, I'll accept anything. If you're a great artist, I'm not so judgmental. But when you do floppy, poppy, disposable music, I don't care.

Osbourne's got exceptional credentials and a knack for dealing with unruly rockstars who on their best day, behaved worse than Bieber — so here are five great reasons why, instead of a "Free Bieber" petition, we should be petitioning to get Sharon Osbourne to manage Justin Bieber:

1) He's Actually Talented

I'm sorry if you disagree, but this is the honest truth. Justin Bieber is a self-taught musician who plays drums, piano, and guitar (and sometimes trumpet, apparently). Oh, and he can dance. It's debatable on whether or not he can still sing — even though he had some impressive range before he hit puberty — because his music has taken an epic downturn since then (probably because no one knew what to do when his voice changed). But if Osbourne had her way, like she told Handler, "If I seriously managed him, I would put him in the studio until he came out with a great album," we'd get to actually see how musically talented the kid actually is.

2) She's Not Going To Put Up With His Shit

Like she said, if he puts out great music he can do whatever he damn well pleases — but until then, it's a short leash because he hasn't earned "a license to misbehave". So, unlike Bieber's dad who took him out to a club to celebrate getting released from jail, Osbourne would actually reprimand him. He might resist, but again, Osbourne in all of her tiny, British glory managed some seriously crazy rockstars — she can handle it.

3) She'd Upgrade His Music Image

There's a lot of Bieber-haters — you're probably one of them. But why do you hate him? Because you think his music is lame and not good? Well, Osbourne would fix it. She told Handler, "For me, he doesn't do anything that's going to stand the test of time." And how would she know that — because she's actually seen music stand the test of time during her husband's lengthy career. She'd turn the haters around and upgrade Bieber from being perceived as a talentless industry-run machine to an actual musician.

4) She Understands The Effectiveness Of A Good Bargain

If time has proven anything, talent and good behavior aren't mutually exclusive and if you demand both (Bieber's current management isn't demanding either) you probably will get nowhere. So, if she told him that putting in effort and churning out a seriously great record meant that he could run amuck, I don't see that system failing. He's a 20-year-old male after all — all he wants is to be able to wreak havoc on the world with the least resistance. Osbourne would know how to manipulate Bieber.

5) She'd Slow Him Down

Bieber's been all over the damn place lately. He's on tour, he released a series of singles in 2013 — but, in reality, Bieber hasn't released a full-length album since Believe in 2012. He needs to be brought back down to Earth and slowed the hell down so he'd stop hanging out in strip clubs and running around shirtless in nightclubs. Osbourne locking him in the studio until he put together an exceptional album would keep him away from Brazilian brothels and his egg-throwing BFFs.

Please, Sharon, help the little guy out.

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