One Direction Reality Show Will Only Be Sufferable If They Follow This Advice
Hold your ears and gird your loins, it looks like there’s a One Direction reality show in the making. Can you hear the rumbles on the streets? Has any glass begun to inexplicably shatter in your home? It’s not the reckoning, it’s just Simon Cowell and 1D taking over every vacant, vacant cell of the universe. Nothing is set in stone, everything is still in the “talking” phase of planning and negotiations, but the boy band and the former American Idol and X-Factor judge are possibly teaming up.
Cowell recently spoke to UK celeb tabloid mag The Mirror and revealed that "I think there's something in the works, a possible TV show… We're going to talk about [the show] in the next couple of weeks. They're always busy these guys." Cheeky, cheeky Mr. Cowell. You know the 1D fandom can’t contain themselves even over this hint of news. I suppose Tumblr shall have to wait on baited breath until the project is confirmed.
If the show does actually happen, we will all have to hunker down and prepare for One Directionocalypse. There are however, perhaps, a few things that would make the oozing-with-high- fructose-corn-syrup world of this mega boy band worth watching. Here’s what would help us tune in:
If there’s a confessional or interview room, it has to be filled with puppies.
The fellas must travel around the world in a plush double-decker bus a la Spice World.
Only 5 shots of screaming fans attacking their cars per episode.
No bedroom cams, please. It feels creepy. This ain’t The Real World!
They have to be filmed with their shirts on for more than 15 minutes per episode.
Each week the fellas take a lecture from past boy band mega stars on the do’s and don’ts of their insane fame. Week One: How to Age Gracefully with New Kids on the Block. Week Two: How to deal with fame hungry little siblings with Nick Carter. Week Three: How to transform your moves into a lucrative Chippendales career with Jeff Timmons.
There will be no halo lighting. I repeat, NO HALO LIGHTING WILL BE USED IN THE MAKING OF THE ONE DIRECTION REALITY SHOW.