If there is one universal truth we all know about Jennifer Lawrence, it's not that she is an Academy Award-winning actor with immense talent and a commanding on-screen presence that will leave you riveted (though it's true). It's not even that she is an outspoken feminist with a wage-gap essay that instantly went viral and raised important questions (and demanded even more important answers) as to why women are paid less than men (though that's also true). Yes, these are all significant qualities that make the Hunger Games star who she is, but what we know best — and what the actor has proven time and time again — is that when Jennifer Lawrence gets drunk, she pukes. It's a narrative that the charmingly relatable actor has discussed everywhere from Harper's Bazaar to late-night talk shows, weaving hilarious tales about her drunken shenanigans, peppered with A-list names, and the kind of imagery worthy of multiple crying-while-laughing emojis.
It's clear that Jennifer Lawrence is not the puke-and-rally type, but rather, the puke-and-then-Woody-Harrelson-accidentally-cuts-his-foot-on-glass type (it's happened). Lawrence's stories are slapstick-style funny because she delivers them the way that only she can, but also because they're "regular people" party recollections, only with celebs thrown in there. In short: They're hilarious because they can happen to anyone, but because they happened to Lawrence.
Check out some of J. Law's most classic drunk-and-puking (or just drunk, or just puking) stories below.
1. When Emma Stone Rubbed Her Back While She Puked
And Woody Harrelson cut his foot on a piece of glass because Lawrence flailed her arms while throwing up (this is real).
"If I do stay out late and I'm partying hard, I will throw up. I don't have the tolerance to black out; I just start puking," she told Harper's Bazaar. "Ask Emma Stone. It was the night we saw Adele in L.A. She just started rubbing my back. She was really sweet. I was like, 'Get out of here. It's so gross.'"
"Woody cut his foot. He stayed over in one of my guest bedrooms, but that's where I started puking," she added. "I broke a candle because I can't just puke like a normal person—I flay my arms everywhere. And I didn't clean it up because I'm an asshole. The next day he cut his foot open. I was like, 'F*ck, am I going to get sued?' And he's like, 'Are you going to ask if I'm okay?'"
2. When Miley Cyrus Told Her To "Get It Together"
According to J. Law, she once puked at Madonna's Oscars after-party — directly in front of Miley Cyrus. It was a tale she regaled to Seth Meyers that has since made its way around the Internet and lives on in Jennifer Lawrence infamy.
"There's this big fancy party, this Guy Oseary and Madonna party – if you get invited, you're like, you know, super-important," Lawrence said. "And I puked, on his porch."
"I was in such bad condition," she continued, "and I look behind me while I'm puking, and Miley Cyrus is there like, 'Get it together.'"
3. When She Had To Get Drunk Before Filming A Sex Scene With Chris Pratt
Nervous to film a sex scene with Chris Pratt — her Passengers co-star who has been married to Anna Faris since 2009 — Lawrence told The Hollywood Reporter that she had to get drunk before doing the (on-screen) deed.
"I got really, really drunk. But then that led to more anxiety when I got home, because I was like, 'What have I done? I don't know,'" she told The Hollywood Reporter. "It was going to be my first time even kissing a married man, and guilt is like the worst feeling in your stomach. I knew it was my job, but I couldn't tell my stomach."
"So I called my mom, and I was like, 'Will you just tell me it's OK?' " she said. "It was just very vulnerable. And you don't know what's too much. You want to do it real, you want everything to be real, but then ... That was the most vulnerable I've ever been."
4. When She Tossed Her Cookies While Driving
"I am a puker,” Lawrence told Graham Norton (you don't say!) “When I get stressed and exhausted, I just vomit. I was driving with my publicist the other day and had to roll down the window and I puked all down the side of the car. It was in front of all the paparazzi — I painted New York!"
5. And When She Gets "Drunk And Disappointed" On New Year's Eve
"I’ve never had a good one. Everyone’s chasing a good time, and it’s always a disappointment," Lawrence told Norton of her New Year's Eve plans. "I plan on doing nothing and then if something lands in my lap ... but I always end up drunk and disappointed.”
But because she couldn't end things on a bummed-out note, J. Law finished things with her typical self-deprecating sense of humor: "Drunk and Disappointed should be the title of my memoir!"
Jennifer Lawrence: Never change.
Images: Giphy (4)