This App Teaches Men To Be "Better Boyfriends"

Holy heteronormativity, Batman – in case you haven’t heard, there’s now a “Better Boyfriend” subscription that lets men pay a heft subscription fee to, y’know, be decent boyfriends. Aimed at heterosexual men who have apparently never heard of a calendar, the service will help boyfriends remember their girlfriends’ birthdays, their anniversaries, and send them "just because" gifts. And despite the fact that this is playing into every gendered stereotype that men should be let off the hook because they're just "bad at dating" and what not, this is still not the worst idea in the world?

Because ironically, although the service aimed at "bad boyfriends," you inherently are a "good boyfriend" if you are conscientious enough to want to remember these things in the first place. That being said, you don't have to pay for the expensive gifts and other swag that come with this type of service to be "good" in a relationship. Just setting a Gcal reminder on big days ought to take care of you on that front. I think the only thing that is kind of squicky about this is that it seems to imply that only guys can be bad about this kind of stuff, when really, relationships are an equal opportunity screw up playing field for men and women alike — and especially regardless of whether or not they're in a heterosexual relationship.

That being said, the offers that the subscription has as "gifts" are actually kind of nice, regardless of who is the giver and who is the receiver of the gifts. So although this is branded as "Better Boyfriend," it could just as easily be branded "Better Partner." I suppose it is the thought that counts. And as long as that thought is counting, if you assumed that I might be the type of girl who made up a fake bae to send stuff to myself, you wouldn't not be right about that. (Don't look at me.)

Here's how the process works on the site. First, you put in your info, and make some selections based on what your girlfriend (or really, boyfriend — I mean, yeah, it's marketed toward women, but what human doesn't like flowers, massages, and picnics?) prefers.

I took the liberty of hitting "yes" and "hell yes" to the chocolate and wine, because research, guys. After that, it takes you to another portal where you give it your SO's information. Important to note: none of the gifts that are sent to your SO aren't branded with the "Better Boyfriend" logo, so nobody's going to know you paid a stranger to do your Christmas shopping.

In this scenario, I am Taylor Swift. In most scenarios, I am Taylor Swift, to be perfectly fair. After that you can select your gift budget, so it will offer you ideas appropriate to your budget.

And voilà! You are remarkably savvy about sending your partner picnic baskets and salsa dance classes or whatever the treat of the month happens to be. I guess it's like secretly signing someone up for a subscription service, when you think about it. But for the record, men and women everywhere, there is no need to go to all these lengths when we all know that most humans would be satisfied with a Cheese of the Month club and the occasional "hey, you're a good human to date" fist bump.

Learn more about the "Better Boyfriend" subscription here.

Images: Andrew Zaeh/Bustle; Better Boyfriend