Madonna Is Opening a Chain of Gyms: Why It's the Perfect Material Girl Move

In her 30-plus years as an internationally-acclaimed pop star, Madonna has covered a lot of ground. With a plethora of #1 albums, a clothing line, and a Super Bowl performance under her belt, plus an overall appeal that has performers half her age wanting to kiss her, what else could the daring diva do to expand her already massive influential reach? According to recent reports, Madonna has opened the first location in a chain of gyms in Toronto, named Hard Candy after her 2008 album. For anyone who needs convincing, here are three reasons why we think Madonna's fitness-related venture is a good look:


This gym opening serves as a huge "eff you" to anyone who hassles the 55-year-old performer and mother of four for daring to wear leotards outside the confines of her home. Now that she's officially a gym owner, it's only fitting that she rock the leotard because first of all, it's a nod to classic workout gear from the 80s, the decade in which Madonna first began dominating the music scene. Plus, the skimpy gear highlights her awesomely toned legs. In other words, don't hate the player, hate the game.


A few weeks back, there was a desperate online outcry that involved the entirety of Twitter demanding an answer to the question that wasn't really a question, "Why is Madonna." In other words, people pondered everything from her fashion choices to her relevancy and whether it still existed. This gym serves as an ode of sorts to Madonna, as it features her images on the walls. In addition, the Hard Candy complex includes playlists of Madge's music, which slightly puzzles me, considering the fact that she refuses to exercise to her own music. I feel exhausted after straining to hit the high notes in "Ray of Light," so I can't imagine a workout routine set to this song, or any of her other hits, being anything short of strenuous. Also, according to her personal trainer, the workouts will be inspired by the routines Madonna uses to sculpt her body. So for anyone wanting to understand precisely "Why is Madonna," one trip to this 42,000 sq. foot sweat factory that encompasses any and everything Madonna should clear up any misconceptions as to why she is.


This gym will actually promote positivity and contribute to making people feel good, unlike some of the Material Girl's recent faux pas, such as her horrendous decision to use a racial slur in reference to her son Rocco on an Instagram post, or her opting to sport a grill to the Grammys, where she admitted to donning the frilly mouthpiece solely to piss off her critics.

Hopefully the launch of her first complex in this chain of gyms is the first of many to come. Until one opens near me, I'll focus on avoiding injury while perfecting my favorite Madonna-esque moves.

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