Stop the presses and hold the phone: Rob Kardashian and Blac Chyna may already be married, as I found out late Wednesday night when my friend tossed her iPhone to me and demanded that I see how Kardashian referred to his fiancée on Instagram (he called her his "beautiful wife," so you can see why people were freaking out). However, according to E! — network of all Kardashians, all the time — "wife" is just his pet name for Chyna, not an actual legal term (at least not yet, anyway).
"Apparently he calls her wifey playfully, and she calls him hubby," the insider claimed to the site.
This is cool because a) the two just got engaged earlier this month, and while I would not be surprised if they ran off and eloped in Vegas, this gives the world (and the entire KarJenner fam) to get used to the engagement; b) they'll have more time to plan a wedding and enjoy being engaged and getting to know each other before they make such an enormous legal commitment (let's not forget how they just started dating earlier this year); and c) this now means I have all the time in the world to fantasize about the ridiculousness that will be Rob Kardashian and Blac Chyna's wedding. Because there is no doubt it would be cray.
1. Chyna Will Rock Two Dresses
According to an E! insider, "Chyna will have at least two dresses on her wedding, both statement pieces." Most likely one for the ceremony and one for the reception. Both will be eye-popping, that's for sure.
2. King Cairo Will Steal The Show
Chyna and Tyga's son is the cutest — and no matter how stunning Chyna looks in her multiple dresses or how handsome Rob looks in a tux, it is little King who will be the most adorable at the wedding. Maybe he'll even be the ringbearer. (Can you imagine little North West and Penelope Disick as flower girls? OMG.)
3. The Wedding Will Be Huge
TBH that Vegas idea is still pretty strong in my mind, but the E! source insists that Chyna has grand plans for her nuptials and that she wants "a big wedding with all her friends and family, and then a fun party after the ceremony."
4. And In A Stunning, Warm Locale
"Chyna loves the warm weather, so the ceremony will be outside and somewhere in a warm climate," the insider added.
5. Kylie Jenner Will Be In Attendance
Especially now that she and Chyna are best friends.
6. Which Means Hopefully The Rest Of The Kardashian-Jenner Clan Will Be As Well
TBH, if Kylie can get on board the #ChyRo train, everyone else should hop aboard as well.
7. I'm Just Assuming There'll Be A Selfie Booth
It's a Kardashian wedding — it's only necessary.
8. And Chyna's Makeup Line Will Be Handed Out As Party Favors
Maybe Kylie will even throw in some Lip Kits to lucky guests.
9. And Also Teeth Whiteners
Complete with that selfie booth so guests can go around taking pictures like the one above.
10. The Bling Will Be Unreal
If Chyna's engagement ring looks like this, I can only imagine that her wedding band — along with all of her other wedding day jewelry — will be so bright guests will have to wear shades.
11. And Lastly, There Will Probably Be Some Drama
With a union as complicated as this one (need I remind you that Chyna has a son with Kylie Jenner's boyfriend, Tyga, and is best friends with Kanye West's ex?), Kardashian-level kraziness is bound to ensue. One can only hope that they'll Snapchat the entire thing...