He's been said to have been a member of the "Choom Gang" in Hawaii as a youth — and so I'd like to think young Obama would totally smoke weed during the White House Correspondents' Dinner (you know, if he wasn't hosting the damn thing). That said, one of the best things about being president is probably being president, and having the theoretical freedom to engage in a wide variety of recreational activities, as long as they are done discretely. At last year's White House Correspondents Dinner, he even made a joke about how if Bernie Sanders won the Presidency, there could be a pot-smoking socialist in the White House. Or as he put it, "a third-term Obama presidency."
Let's be clear: The president has definitely not gone on the record as an open user of marijuana while in office. But, hey, openly smoking marijuana while in office would be a presidential first — and it's been a long time coming, right? After all, recreational marijuana is now completely legal in Washington, D.C.
After all, if the modern popularity test for picking presidents has been "Who would you rather have a beer with?" then maybe it is high time to usher in the "Who would you rather have a toke with?" test for 2016.
Here's why Obama should consider getting back in the game, either for this upcoming dinner or the ones he'll be attending in the decades to come:
1. The Weed In D.C. Has Probably Gotten A Lot Better Since Decriminalization
And yet I highly doubt that it is anywhere near the quality that you can find in Washington State, where an obsessive attention to detail at the regulatory level has resulted in the most detailed rundown of what consumers can expect from any given strain ever seen. But it has to have gotten better than the swamp skunk delivered in recycled blunt wrapper packaging that was de rigeur in the District before legalization. Right?
2. It's Basically His Senior Prom
This will be the final White House Correspondent's Dinner than President Obama will attend as a sitting President, so there is pretty much no pressure to perform. He's not quite a lame duck yet, whatever those pesky Republicans say about him, but the madcap antics of this election season has made his entire tenure as POTUS seem almost dull in comparison.
3. It Would Be A Powerful Political Statement
Look, smoking weed during (or before, or whatever) would be a pretty powerful political statement in itself. The President could also follow it up with some further executive action on ending the expensive and ineffective War on Drugs, pardoning non-violent weed users, or giving out more grants to American researchers studying how marijuana may help fight cancers, treat brain disorders, and be used in a healthy and balanced way.
4. It'd Be Way Less Objectionable Than The Vaping Congressman Vaping In Congress
5. It Might Make The Speeches Tolerable
Yes, Larry Wilmore is probably going to do a decent job hosting the evening. But will things be slightly less exciting without Obama's own personal Anger Translator? Yes.
6. It Would Cause The Conservative Media Machine To Have A Conniption Fit
At this point, Obama has trolling the conservative media machine down to a science, while practicing it as an art. Like he said in his 2013 WHCD remarks, when planning out his presidential library, he thought about having it in his birthplace. But then wanted to "keep it in the U.S." A few tokes on the bowl could result in an epic off-the-cuff burn or two.
7. He's The President Of The United States
He can do what he wants.
So, even though it is highly unlikely that President Obama will bring a bong to the Correspondent's Dinner, it's certainly a fun idea to distract you from the rising levels of background anxiety triggered by the thought of a Trump presidency.
Images: Giphy (2)