Key and Peele's Keanu has already given me plenty of reasons to question my status as a dog person, but the calendar released during the film's promotions, and shown during the duration of the movie, pretty much seals up that deal. If you haven't had a chance to look at the images from this calendar, stop whatever you're doing and pay attention — the images from the Keanu cat calendar are the biggest pile of cute you'll find on the internet, and you're going to want them in your life ASAP.
In the film, Jordan Peele's character dresses up Keanu in a variety of little outfits and photographs him reenacting his favorite movie sequences, an impulse, if not talent, I'm almost certain most cat owners possess. Keanu: A Cat For All Seasons makes these pictures a reality and poses the film's titular kitten in a variety of iconic movie scenes, including moments from The Shining, Pee-Wee's Big Adventure, and Beetlejuice. Each month reveals a new picture, completely staged without any CG or PhotoShop assistance. Someone actually took the time to build these kitten-sized sets and costumes. Someone got paid to do that. Yes, I'm jealous.
The tragedy in all of this, however, is that in real life, the calendar is simply a piece of swag that was doled out to critics and other journalists as part of the movie's public relations strategy, and isn't currently up for sale. The rest of the public will have to wait to see if the Keanu calendar will be released to general audiences. In the meantime, there are plenty of other ways to prep for Keanu's release. You can get to know George Michael, the star of the film's soundtrack (and, you know, iconic singer), or read up on the role Keanu Reeves will play in the film. But let's be real, these pre-Keanu days will be spent mostly pouting about not owning this calendar. I mean, look at this kitten doing Mad Max: Fury Road! That's feminist-action-movie splendor. How am I supposed to live without this in my life?
Here's hoping this calendar eventually finds its way to the public, because it'd be a shame to keep something as great as this away from the many people who'd gladly pay money to have it in their lives. My home will feel forever empty without this calendar, but at least there's Keanu to enjoy in the meantime.
Images: Warner Bros.