Listening To Drake’s ‘Views’ Will Destroy You Emotionally In 19 Different Ways

We can all breathe now, guys, the wait is over. After what seems like centuries, Drake released Views on Friday, delighting all of us who had sat patiently for the new album and annoying all of us who had to co-opt a new streaming service to listen to it. Sure enough, you can’t just let Drake’s music wash over you with a placid pleasantness. No, Drake’s Views will send you on an emotional rollercoaster, and having listened to it through twice already I can guide you through all those highs and lows.

Now, granted, a lot of those lows come from the fact that Views is an Apple Music exclusive for this upcoming week, and, if you’re a Spotify or TIDAL girl, that can cause some anxiety. But beyond that, Drake’s Views throws you into both agony and ecstasy, clumsy dances and sexual tizzies. It’s a lot to handle, to say the least. So we’re going to document that journey, song by song. These are all the emotional stages you’ll go through when you listen to Views for the first time. The emotional stages that I went through when I listened to Views for the first time. Hold my hand and grab some tissues, friends.

1. When "Keep The Family Close" Comes On And You Wait Eagerly For The Song To, You Know, Start

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That first two minutes are pure anticipation.

2. When "9" Dazzles You With It's Auditory Sparkliness

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All right, now we're getting somewhere.

3. When "U With Me?" Makes You Question If You Are With Drake Thus Far

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Usually the answer is a resounding "yes," but IDK, is this album grabbing me the same way The Life Of Pablo did? Also, how many streaming services do I have to pay for if I want to listen to my favorite rappers? I'm questioning my entire life right now.

4. When "Feel No Ways" Gets You Angry At Your Deadbeat Ex All Over Again

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But it's casual, it's fine that he wants to be a pot-smoking Chili's assistant manager until he dies.

5. When "Hype" Has You Bouncing But You're Awkward About It

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I'm not exactly nailing this beat right now.

6. When "Weston Road Flows" Gives You Those '90s Feels

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All aboard the nostalgia train.

7. When "Redemption" Kind Of Turns You On But Also Kind Of Makes You Distrust Drake

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Just how many women did you hurt back in Canada?

8. When "With You" Comes On And You've Officially Decided That You're With Drake And The Elation Is Intense

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OK, you've swayed me, this album is great.

9. When "Faithful" Hits The Scene And You're Still Not Sure If You Can Trust Drake, Though

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I'm loving this, but "Redemption" kind of made me skeptical about Drake's real fidelity.

10. When "Still Here" Gets You All Proud About Your Squad

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Every one of your girls are amazing... except that third-tier friend Samantha, who knows what she did.

11. When "One Dance" Brings You Back To Your Happy Place And Has You Dancing Like Never Before

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It's a lot smoother than "Hype," thank God.

12. When "Grammys" Gets You Concerned About Future For A Hot Sec

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You OK, fam, it sounds like you're slurring your words at the beginning there.

13. When The Beginning Of "Childs Play" Makes You Feel Uncomfortable

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Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope.

14. When The Beginning Of "Pop Style" Gives You The Creeps, In A Good Way

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I kind of really like this, and I kind of also think it's spooky.

15. When "Too Good" Has You Toasting To Drake And Rihanna's Many Unions

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Bless you both.

16. When "Summers Over Interlude" Confuses You Completely

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I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THIS IS BUT IT'S AMAZING.

17. When "Fire And Desire" Hits You With Some Low-Key Sexiness And Your Body Is So Ready

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I feel like I need a cigarette after this.

18. When "Views" Won't Play On Your Apple Music And You're Literally About To Throw Your Mac Book Out The Window

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I NEED MORE DRAKE.

19. When You're Rewarded With "Hotline Bling" And Everything Is Glorious Again

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It was all so worth the wait. It was worth the tissues and incoherent screaming I went through. It was worth everything. Thank you, Drake.

Images: Giphy (20)