1. "What Just Happened?!"
This is the one major text you send to your Game of Thrones group chat after every new episode drops. Don't pretend like you understood all the motives for every character. That's just plain nutty. It's a twisted web that's being woven and you need a friend to help you untangle it.
2. "Tyrion Can Get It."
The most lovable Lannister somehow manages to steal viewers' hearts every episode. It doesn't matter what's happening to him. Bad, good, sour, or super, Tyrion will forever be one of the best parts of Game of Thrones. Who would you rather have for your drinking buddy/Westeros squad captain? The High Sparrow? Please.
3. "Needs More Dragons."
One of the best parts of Game of Thrones is the magical elements. If magic exists, it should be front and center in those new episodes. In certain instances, like the Season 6 premiere, there was a certain beloved trio of magical creatures that were not present. Not cool. Give us all the dragons, please!
4. "I Know Jamie Is A Bit Morally Corrupt, But Hear Me Out."
Alright, I know that Jamie is a little reprehensible. In his defense, he's been made to pay for most of his crimes. Plus, he's had that smug streak taken down a peg — losing a hand and being separated from the woman you love can change a man. Even if the woman you love is... well, you know, related to you. Oh man. It's tough to defend this man sometimes.
5. "You Tell 'Em, Daenerys."
If you're not raucously cheering on Daenerys at every turn, you're watching this show wrong. This woman is giving you all of her life, and you sit there tamely? Oh no. First, you must cheer, then you text your BFF and bask in the queen vibes Daenerys just gave you.
6. "Do You Mean To Tell Me That Arya Trained That Whole Time..."
Now that the ball on Season 6 is rolling, these new episodes better treat Arya properly. This fierce Brienne-in-the-making needs some good luck tossed her way, and soon.
7. "Needs More White Walkers."
Yet another magical creature to both fear and behold that was seemingly absent in the Season 6 premiere were the White Walkers. Given their major role in the culmination of a certain beloved character's death, they should make their return soon. Maybe if we text each other about this blind spot enough, the writers will hear us?
8. "How Are All These People Not In The Same Place Yet?"
Holy sweet Mother of Dragons, how is this cast still so spread out? We have gone through five seasons of sex, death, devious plots, and tender moments, and there is still no major meetings? Can't we all just gather everyone together at King's Landing and hash out who should sit on the Iron Throne like normal people?
9. "So, Wait, What Is The Game That's Being Played?"
This is the text your newbie friend will send you after they finish binging on a season in an attempt to catch up. It's best if you just send them a consolation text. They don't know there's not a literal game being played. It's OK, friend, you'll get there soon.
10. "Needs More Jon Snow."
He will forever be the one crush we can never put behind us. I say we all start a petition to just keep Jon Snow around even if he doesn't serve a purpose. Jon Snow enhances every inch of our television screens and we are blessed to have him to it. He's moody and broody and perfectly coiffed. We'd be so lucky to have him return.
11. "I Wish I Could Push ____ Through That Moon Door Right Now."
With so many characters jostling for the crown, there's bound to be a few that get to be a little too annoying. If only there was a Moon Door in every home in Game of Thrones, it might be a bit easier to put those we can't stand out of their annoying misery.
Just thinking about all this craziness has left me reeling. Be still, my beating heart! Just thinking about the possibilities Season 6 holds for the massive Game of Thrones fandom is too much. I think I'll need a few more chats with my squad before the next episode airs.
Images: HBO; Giphy (11)