Should I Go On The Date? 9 Signs You'll Hit It Off With Your Online Crush
If you've been talking to someone you really like on a dating app, the pressure to have a picture perfect first date can often stop you from even going on the date. But sometimes you have to trust your gut and take a leap of faith that your online connection will translate offline — and it doesn't hurt to know the signs you're compatible with an online crush in advance.
Do we want the same things? Do they really like me? Will things be awkward IRL? When you're talking to someone new online, there are hundreds of things that race through your mind. So I spoke with Ravid Yosef, creator of The Love Success Method, and Francesca Hogi, a love and life coach, to find out some signs that the person you're conversing with online might have the potential to become your boo offline, too.
Yosef, however, offers these words of caution: "Keep in mind that research has shown that your online chemistry doesn't necessarily translate to offline chemistry and the only way to really know if you'll hit it off, is to actually meet the person, in real life."
So even if all signs point to "soulmate," don't let that rose-tint your perception of someone so much that you ignore obvious red flags on the first date. That being said, here are nine things to watch for that might mean you and your potential date will hit it off. But first, check out the latest episode of Bustle's Sex and Relationships podcast, "I Want It That Way":
1. You're Excited When They Text
The whole butterflies-in-the-stomach thing? It may seem silly, but it's got some real clout. According to Yosef, it's definitely a positive sign if you find yourself smiling when you get a notification from someone and are nervous about meeting them. "Nerves are actually a good thing, they don't always mean that something bad is going to happen, it can easily mean that you're excited," she says.
2. They Make You Laugh
This pretty much goes without saying, but having a similar sense of humor is a true sign of compatibility and helps us form social relationships of all kinds. Although it's certainly much easier to make someone LOL in person, it's a definite plus if that can happen behind a screen, too. "Humor doesn't always translate well in profiles/online chats, so if you are able to connect on that level that's a great sign," Hogi tells Bustle.
3. They're Flirty, But Not Pushy
Not that you should ever be ashamed of sending/receiving nudes, but it's a bit off-putting if someone you're talking to is hell-bent on getting you to send a nude before the first date. If it comes up naturally and both parties seem into it, then go for it. But if someone doesn't take "no" for an answer, run fast. That being said, it's a sign of good (and hopefully sexy) things to come if you both engage in flirty banter with equal enthusiasm and mutual respect.
4. Their Snapchat Game Is Strong
OK, this in and of itself isn't exactly a solid reason to go on a date with someone, but it certainly helps. I can't be the only person who adds a potential date on Snapchat ASAP so I can see if their selfie game lives up to their Tinder pics — and this definitely influences my decision to go out with them. Plus, it's just one more medium through which you can figure out if your senses of humor are similar: Maybe you both love the puppy filter a little too much, but that can only be a good sign.
5. You Banter Well
This kind of goes hand-in-hand with having a similar sense of humor, but Yosef notes that the ability to engage in banter (whether flirty, intellectual, or witty) online might mean that when you go on a date, conversation will flow equally well.
6. You're Comfortable With the Pace
There's nothing that turns me off more than talking to a guy who gets antsy and wants to meet up the instant I reply to him. First of all, don't boldly assume I'm sitting around doing nothing just because I'm answering your Tinder message; I have a life, thanks very much. Second, though I don't like to drag things out for weeks before meeting up, I also like to have a couple days to delve a little deeper and get to know you before I commit myself to drinking a vodka soda in your presence. If things aren't moving either too fast or too slow for you, Yosef says, that bodes well for your future.
7. You Have Similar "Ideal Weekends"
You don't have to have every little thing in common to be compatible. But according to Yosef, asking what their ideal weekend looks like can tell you a lot about your IRL compatibility with someone. "This gives me a lot of information from a guy with a very simple answer," she says. "If we like a lot of the same things, do the same activities and enjoy our weekends in a similar way, there's a good chance we'll hit it off."
8. They Express Genuine Interest in You
Nothing is worse than a barrage of superficial compliments without any sort of getting-to-know-you questions peppered in. "Questions, comments and compliments beyond the physical are a good sign the other person actually cares to know who you are," Hogi says. If they take the time ask about your hobbies, interest, childhood, etc., it's probably a sign that they're looking to really get to know you, not just take you out for a drink and a one-night stand.
9. They're Considerate When Making Plans
If someone takes into account your geographical location and your schedule when suggesting a meeting location, Hogi says, it's a good sign they're a considerate person in general. So if you're unsure of whether or not you should commit to going on a first date, but they seem more than willing to do what's convenient for you, it's a positive sign that they'll be just as considerate in other aspects of the relationship.
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