It is as the ancient idiom dictates: If presented with the opportunity to announce your new emoji set and your pregnancy in the same Instagram post, you do not let that opportunity slip away. Last Friday, newly affianced couple Rob Kardashian and Blac Chyna ‘grammed an emoji that let the world know they are with child. Little did we know that the pregnant Chyna illustration was only one of several hundred Chyna emoji. Tuesday, Blac Chyna released ChyMoji, a collection of over 700 characters that'll take any regular ol' text conversation to the next level. Dutiful pop culture fan that I am, I wasted no time in forking over the $1.99 for the ChyMoji app. And dutiful ranking fan that I am, I also wasted no time in ranking the emoji featured in the ChyMoji app.
...Er, I ranked some of the Chymoji. Sorry, but I definitely didn’t rank all 700 cartoons. As much as I love creating lists, I most certainly did not have it in me to stare at my cell phone for hours and organize hundreds of of tiny illustrations in an Excel spreadsheet. I feared I’d grow to resent the ChyMoji, and that would be a fate worse than death. So, I pared the list down to my 51 relatively safe for work favorites and went from there.
#51: The Sandwich
The standard emoji collection should be so lucky to have such an A+ sandwich.
#50: Chicken Nuggets
What’s that sauce? Ketchup? Barbecue? Honey? The mystery of the ChyMoji chicken nugget sauce is a great conversation starter, you heard it here first.
#49: The Pride Donut
What a beautiful breakfast pastry.
#48: The Pretzel
How and why doesn’t the regular emoji set have a pretzel?
I didn’t know I needed a Skittles emoji until now.
#46: The Ring Pop
Same goes for this Ring Pop. OK, enough with the food ChyMoji already. Let's switch gears.
#45: The Chyna Money
Angela Kardashian kurrency!
#44: The Angry Face
An excellent choice for when your pal is too busy liking Instagram pics and posting snaps to respond to your text messages.
#43: Chyna At Runyon
You know, I usually hike Griffith Park over Runyon Canyon, but that might change now that there’s a Runyon ChyMoji.
#42: Fingers Crossed
Perfect for when you wanna say “SIIIIKE” but don’t feel like typing it out.
Grandma over here didn’t know what “DILLIGAS” meant until she googled it. Always love an emoji that keeps me on my toes.
#40: The Disembodied Lips & Hand
This one is so creepy. Big fan.
#39: The Makeup Swatches
Swatch out for this one.
#38: The Ha Ha
Is it a genuine “ha ha”? Or is it a snarky “ha ha”? The possibilities are endless!
#37: The Bag Of Greenery
How about that... uh... “broccoli," eh?
#36: The Chyna Hollywood Walk Of Fame Star
One day, one day...
#35: The Cry Laugh
I am all about the Chyna version of this classic emoticon.
#34: The Rainbow Vomit
Bringing the Snapchat heat.
#33: It’s Tea Time
Get ready to spill.
#32: Surfin' The Web On The Couch
My kind of party.
#31: The Accessorized Bottle
So very glam.
#30: Heart Hands
Because the "<3" emoticon is so passé.
#29: Chyna Pride
#28: Rob & Chyna Pushing A Stoller
#27: Chyna Hugging A Tree
And would ya look at that heart carved into the bark!
#26: The Eggplant & Straws
At first, I didn't get why this eggplant had arms.
...Aaaaand then I realized those weren’t arms, but straws. And then I understood what I was looking at. And then I laughed out loud for about forty-five minutes.
#25: Chyna For President
#24: The Butt
Can't stop sending the butt emoji, won't stop sending the butt emoji.
#23: The Smiling Taco
Hnnnnnnngh can't handle that precious little face on that precious little taco hnnnnnngh.
#22: The Receipts
*Bows to Whitney Houston.*
#20: The Side-Eye Meme
So meme, much good.
#19: The Wink
This might be the most mesmerizing one of the lot.
#18: The Dirty Diaper
Real talk: I can’t stop spamming my friends with this one.
This one comes in handy when your friend won't stop sending you a stanky diaper ChyMoji.
#16: Chyna & Rob Gettin’ Married
Wow. Is that the cake topper of my dreams, or is that the cake topper of my dreams?
#15: Rob Wearing A Chyna Hat
#14: The Money Rainstorm
#13 The Janet Jackson Homage
Ms. Chyna on the cover of Rolling Stone if you’re nasty.
#12: The Prince Tribute
*Cries purple tears.*
#11: The Beyoncé Stan
#10: The Rihanna Stan
The Rihanna Navy shirt and the Dolce & Gabanna crown headphones? Be still my RiRi-loving heart.
#9: Dancing Chyna
This animated dancing emoji is everything.
Can’t wait to put this one to good use next month.
#7: The “Huh?”
This moving-moji is a stellar response to any and all nonsense.
Sorry, classic trash can sign emoji. You’re going on the back burner. This ChyMoji is my new go-to response.
#5: The Falling Glasses
This is me, like, every 10 minutes.
#4: Amber Rose & Blac Chyna
#3: Crying King Cairo
This King Cairo emoji is so cute I can barely take it.
Look at Rob. Whatta guy, whatta ChyMoji.
#1: Pregnant Chyna
It’s the ChyMoji that started it all. Of course it’s number one.
Don't agree with my ChyMoji rankings? That's fine. To you I say this:
Just livin' my ChyMoji truth.
Images: ChyMoji/Glamroks, LLC (51)