It is a truth commonly acknowledged that a single woman in possession of a laptop must be in want of a so-bad-it's-good movie to laze away her hungover Sunday on. Ladies (and gentlemen, because why discriminate? I know you want to get stuck in on the bad/good film action, too), you're welcome. You're so welcome. All of these movies showcase the best of the bad movies the '80s, '90s and '00s had to offer, and they're perfect for a mass daytime sleepover. So get on the blower, invite some buddies over, order pizza and get ready to zonk out as your brain gets a holiday and your eyes get a massage from all the crazy special FX in these old movies that are so bad they're good.
I've tried to cater to all tastes. There's some pretty special B-movie-style humans vs. monsters material, I've got your bad taste soft porn type movies, your rom-coms, and even a classic superhero flick. There is no way you'll be unable find something here that won't tickle your fancy. So, next time you're looking for a movie to check out and you're browsing Rotten Tomato critic ratings, just remember: anything that scores under 20 percent is more often than not so-bad-it's-good fare. Seriously.
1. Eight Legged Freaks (2002)
After a bunch of exotic spiders in Arizona are accidentally exposed to toxic waste, the predictable next step happens. Nope, they don't turn into Spider-Man. Instead, they become enormous and start feeding on humans. Even less feasible than the plot of the movie, did you know actually-good-actors like Scarlett Johansson and David Arquette are in this extremely?
2. Cat People (1982)
I will never not be in love with this movie. It's a remake of the 1942 original, and it's weirdly sexual for a movie about people who turn into werecats. What are werecats, you ask? They're a little like horny cat vampires who have to kill their human sexual partners after intercourse to recover their human form. Also, fun twist: they're often incestuous. Expect lots of hot longing gazes between brother and sister pair Irena and Paul.
3. Shark In Venice (2008)
I don't feel like I've got to sell this one to you guys. It's all in the title. But fun extra info: the production crew couldn't afford to shoot it in Venice, so they shot it in Bulgaria instead. Plus, it stars the stellar acting talents of a couple of famous people's siblings: think Scarlett Johansson's sister Vanessa and Alex Baldwin's brother Stephen.
4. Showgirls (1995)
If you haven't seen it already, cancel your plans for the evening. The character development in this wannabe sleaze flick is beautifully arbitrary, with protagonist Nomi performing a lap dance for $500 like it ain't no thing, but getting upset when a guy asks her to rub ice on her nipples to make them look hard, because that makes her feel cheap. Also that weird Kyle McLachlan/Elizabeth Berkley mutual face-eating session in the swimming pool: yesssssss/nooooo.
5. Road House (1989)
Patrick Swayze plays a lethal, world-famous bouncer. Oh, yeah, and he's also super into peace and love and philosophy. Figures.
6. The Room (2003)
When you think "indie movie," you're usually expecting subtle, nuanced dialogue and slow burn character development. Not here. This melodramatic indie centers on a troubled love triangle between banker Johnny, his fiancee Lisa, and his best friend Mark. One film professor described it to Entertainment Weekly as the "Citizen Kane of bad movies."
7. Slap Her, She's French! (2002)
Elevating xenophobia against French people into a storyline the filmmakers expect we can all get behind: French girls are just too hot, and they have to be stopped, OK?
8. Batman & Robin (1997)
How can a film with George Clooney in the lead role and Uma Thurman in be so bad? Arnold Schwarzenegger's puns. Overuse of smoke machines. Some seriously clunky dialogue. Worth seeing for any of those alone.
9. Snakes On A Plane (2006)
Forget his work with Tarantino: this is the definitive Samuel L. Jackson movie, period.
10. 40 Days And 40 Nights (2002)
Josh Hartnett plays a guy who, after a brutal breakup, resolves to not have sex during Lent. So, obviously, this is the moment he meets the girl of his dreams and, for whatever reason, can't just tell her why he keeps recoiling as if she has leprosy when she leans in for a kiss. So many highlights here, guys. That scene where he brings Dream Girl to orgasm with, what was it, a feather? A flower? And then the amazing 3D special effects when he hallucinates a landscape made up of breasts. Too much genius for one movie.
11. Wild Wild West (1999)
Terrible one-liners, Will Smith dressed as a cowboy, and an enormous mechanical spider. What more do you need to convince you to watch?
12. Anaconda (1997)
Jennifer Lopez and Ice Cube star in this movie about a documentary film crew who have to fight a snake that, to quote Rotten Tomatoes, "squeezes its prey to death, eats it whole, regurgitates it and then eats it again." Mmmm. Maybe not one to watch while snacking.
It's a vast cinematic universe out there, and sometimes you don't want to watch The Bicycle Thief or that daring new indie film from Norway. You want B-List celebs, explosions and smoke machines — in other words, junk food for your eyes. This list is a great start for your cinematic cheat days, and these movies are ones you're not going to be able to get enough of once you tune into this magic.
Images: New Line Cinema