As the Oscars approach, it's easy to begin remembering icon acceptance speeches of years gone by. There was the time Halle Berry cried tears of joy; there was Sally Fields' "You like me, you really like me!" speech; and of course, the time Julia Roberts hilariously sassed the orchestra leader for playing her off the stage. But according to Slate, another memorable aspect of Oscar acceptance comes courtesy of Queen Meryl herself: Meryl Streep is thanked more often than God in Oscar speeches. Yes, actually.
Sure, that's a shocking headline, but is it really that shocking? If there was a patron saint of being a kickass actress, it would be Streep. If one star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame was elected to become a statue representing the most graceful, inspiring stars in the game, it would be Streep's. If there is a single person in all of the fame game who's worthy of groveling, it's Streep.
But some of you still seem skeptical. How could God garner fewer thanks than Streep? (God has three mentions throughout Oscar history to Streep's four.) Well, you'd better believe we've got a few fool-proof explanations. Here are the five reasons you should always thank Meryl Streep during an Oscar acceptance speech.
1. She's Won More Oscars Than You
The woman has been nominated 18 times and she physical holds three Oscar statuettes. If winning Oscars was an Olympic sport, she'd be both Meryl Davis and Charlie White.
2. She's the Original Beyonce of the Acting World
Before we learned to Bow Down, Bitches and blindly praise every breath that escapes from King B, we learned to worship Streep with every fiber of our beings. Is there anything Streep can't do? Of course not. What an insulting, idiotic question.
3. She's a Pioneer, Dammit
Few actresses have managed to make their careers surpass the cruel post-40 cutoff that claims so many talented actress. Hollywood hates women over 40? Fuck that, says Meryl.
4. If You Won, It's Only Because Meryl Willed It To Be So
If she wasn't nominated that year, it's because she took a break from being incredible to give someone else a shot. If she was nominated, you only won because she wanted you to, Jennifer Lawrence.
5. Because A Smile from Meryl Is All You'll Ever Need
When you thank her, she will smile at you. And while it will be a brief, two-second moment, in your mind, it will feel like this life-changing occurrence: