9 Weird Dating Hacks That Will Make You Seem Engaged & Confident
There are way more important things in life than looking good on a date, but for those of us going on dates, it can sometimes be hard to remember that fact. Just keep in mind that there are ways to look attractive on a date, but that they often don't have a ton to do with what we look like and have way more to do with the vibes we're giving off.
Don't believe me? Just think about it for a minute. If someone shows up for a date looking amazing, but then proceeds to act cold, disinterested, or bored, is it really going to matter to you that they have great hair? And on the flip side, if your date arrives sporting jeans and a T-shirt and looks like they just had to jog from the subway, but is friendly, warm, and engaging, you're probably way more likely to want to go out again.
Basically, looks aren't everything, as much as a lot of people will try to convince you that first nano-second impressions are the end-all-be-all. But that being said, there are legitimate ways to seem more attractive on dates, and if that's what you're in need of, here are nine hacks that should help you out.
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According to a study featured on Today.com, mimicking a conversation partner indicates attraction, and can subconsciously make you more attractive and interesting to them. You don't need to go crazy and copy their every gesture though — just adopt their general posture, or perhaps lean in the direction they're leaning.
2. Tilt Your Head
In a piece for The Huffington Post, behavioral author Vanessa Van Edwards noted the importance of tilting your head when in conversation. "Head tilting shows interest and engagement. If you are speaking with someone, let them know you are present and interested by tilting your head and gazing at them. Be sure to not look over their head or around the room, this shows lack of interest and sensitivity," Van Edwards said.
3. Keep Your Feet Pointed Towards Your Date
Van Edwards also recommended keeping your feet pointed towards your date, as this shows attraction, or at the very least engagement. Keeping your feet pointed away from the other person could inadvertently come across as stand-offish.
3. Ask Unique Questions
On his blog, author and behavioral economist Dan Ariely recommended opting for more unique and off-the-wall questions when on a date. For example, instead of just covering the basics, ask them if they've ever traveled by themselves, or what happened in their previous relationship. While some might find this risky or too bold a move on a first date, Ariely said it can lead to some of the best first-date conversations you've ever had.
4. Don't Over-Do It On Eye Contact
We all know that solid eye contact is generally a good thing, but too much can have the opposite effect. A study published in Psychological Science revealed that non-stop eye contact can make you less persuasive in conversation, and overall much less enticing.
In a piece for Psychology Today, behavioral expert Leonard Mlodinow said that casual touching can double our chances of a second date. He noted that this is because touching (casual touching, not groping) sends subliminal messages to our social human brains, and generally makes us way more engaged with the person who touched us.
6. Wear Black
According to a survey featured in Harper's Bazaar, black is often the best color to wear on a date. Respondents associated the color with almost every positive quality, including intelligence, confidence, and sexiness.
7. Wear What Makes You Feel The Best
A compilation piece on Match.com on how to look attractive on a date recommended wearing an outfit that you feel complements your best features. This isn't necessarily about looking more attractive on the outside; it's much more about what wearing something that makes us feel good does to our behavior. If you're outfit makes you feel beautiful, odds are that will shine through in a more confident and happy demeanor.
8. Reach For The Perfume And Deodorant
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According to a study in the Journal of Cosmetic Science, the simple act of grooming can positively affect self image. The study's author, Jorien van Paasschen, PhD, said that even just putting on deodorant or dabbing ourselves in perfume instantly makes us more confident in our appearance.
9. Wear What Makes You Feel Comfortable
This last one is a personal tip. If life has taught me anything, it's that no matter how much we may want to be the kind of person who wears straw fedoras, or is super happy in a halter top, if we're not genuinely comfortable in our ensembles it will show. Don't choose a date to try out a major style risk, and instead go with something tried and true that you know makes your feel your best. And I'm not saying we should never step outside our style comfort zones (where's the fun in that?), I just mean there's a time and a place.
Feeling attractive on a date can be the difference between bringing your A-game and wanting to hide in the bathroom. Just remember, it's way less about how your look and way more about the energy you're giving off. So try to relax and enjoy yourself — because isn't that the point?