A lot of men can brag that they know their way around the female body, but the second you put a tampon in their hands, that braggadocio ends. Watching guys try to figure out tampons is akin to watching a kangaroo try to ride a bicycle — they have no idea what the F*** they are doing. And while they may get up close and personal with the organ that uses them quite frequently, 99.9 percent of the time, this probably has nothing to do with the menstrual cycle.
Some lucky guys who grew up with sisters are a bit more educated than the rest of the herd. They are at least aware of what a hassle getting your period can be, and how awful one feels during it (probably they have been on the PMS receiving end quite a few times). But unless they were basically me at the age of 12, and very carefully read and re-read the instruction on the tampon box secretly in the bathroom, there is no way that they could understand how a tampon works.
To prove this point, Cosmopolitan has interviewed a few men and recorded their befuddled reactions when asked to explain said tampon. They do their best, but are still significantly undereducated. One even asks, “What if you drank a huge Big Gulp?” After which I hope the camera person informed him that those are two very different holes. Thankfully, the guys reactions are pretty hilarious. Here are a few:
They ALL Think Tampons Look Like Fireworks
Never before have I looked at my tampon and thought it looked like poppers (though I guess some poppers do have a string attached). For some reason, this is the male point of reference for the shape of a tampon.
They Are Confused By The Tampon's Advanced Mechanics
One guy holding a tampon with an applicator asks the camera, "You don't actually put the cardboard in, do you?" Oh sweet innocent man — you have no idea. When the guys finally discover that the tampon can be pushed through the applicator, the joy and pride in their eyes is evident. Lucky for them, they don't have to go through this process every month.
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They Are Surprised And Delighted By How It Expands
Watching the tampon expand when dipped in the blue liquid, the men react as if it were a magic trick. (I guess the video didn't want to gross them out with slightly more accurate red liquid?) "It's like a flower," says one gentleman, as he eagerly asks to open another tampon.
One man admits after his tampon experiment has ended that "Having to deal with this on a regular basis is just like a ridiculous hassle." To which I say: Amen.
Watch the entire tampon-tastic video here:
I'd hate to see guys try and figure out how a Diva Cup works!
(I'm lying — please make that video!)