13 Things '90s Kids Hid From Their Parents
I spent most of the '90s locked in my room to keep a barrier between myself and my family. Because the things that '90s kids hid from their parents were vast and varied. I would have lived in another zip code, if I could have. My room was a secret treasure trove of things meant for my eyes and ears only. Under every hat was a piece of paraphernalia that would surely give me a few weeks without TV or phone "privileges". Under my bed, squished in my drawers, hiding in my socks, was where my secrets lay.
On sleepovers, at my friend's houses, they'd show me their secret stashes. Their shoeboxes filled with things no one was supposed to know about. The trick floorboards. The spaces between mattresses. Our rooms were all hijacked with parts of ourselves. Different elements of our personalities and essences, crammed in dark little spaces in our '90s childhood rooms.
Now, as adults, our homes are transparent reflections of ourselves. Our interests, plastered to the walls. Our secrets, neatly filed in journals displayed on night tables. Our hobbies and habits, on bookshelves and kitchen counters. We're finally allowed to be who we want to be, and better yet, we get to show ourselves off. Gone are the days of tucking it all away and living in fear that our parents might discover who we really are by snooping around. If you grew up in the '90s these are 13 things you definitely hid from your parents:
CDs With A Parental Advisory
I stole a bunch of rap CDs from my older brother. They were filled with curse words and drug references and I'd hide in my closet every once in a while and listen to them on my Discman.
I found a fresh cigarette in the grass at the park once and kept it in a sock in my drawer for about two years. I had big plans of smoking it but was always too scared. I liked knowing it was there though, it made me feel very adult. It might still be there.
Whenever my parents left the house, I'd go through it, combing it for adult treasures. I found a tiny bottle of banana liquor in the pantry and hid it under my mattress for over a year. Every once in a while I'd open the bottle, take a whiff and feel badass. I never realized it was for cooking.
Also taken from my brother's room, I stole a pinch of weed, put it in a sandwich bag and stuffed it in a shoe in my closet. Eventually I gave it to a boy I liked to impress him. It didn't work.
I was always getting my Tamagotchi taken away for having an attitude or talking back. But my mother didn't understand how dire my attention to my pet was. I'd always steal it back so that it didn't die of poop poisoning.
Video Games With Mature Content
My friends and I would trade possessions we stole form our older siblings at school. We had a secret trade ring. Ten Pogs for one brutal video game seemed like a fair deal. Only problem was I didn't have the right system to play the game.
After years of collecting magazine tear outs and posters, I finally had enough material to make a proper shrine to my childhood obsession, Jonathan Taylor Thomas. I used a large box and filled the walls with pictures and quotes and hearts and prayed to it on the reg. Still waiting for him to answer my prayers and take me to prom.
I was never allowed to wear make up. But I collected it like a squirrel with acorns. I had an entire shoe box of make up, enough to decorate a clown. I'd wear it around my room while I danced to z100.
My siblings and I had a candy cut off. Our mother wouldn't let us eat it close to bed time. So when I had a late night sweet tooth, I'd resort to my harvested bounty of Halloweens past, stashed away in a tissue box under my bed.
Home Made Crop Tops
Sometimes I'd cut my t-shirts in half and wear them as crop tops in my room. My mother would never let me wear them out of the house, but I always packed them for sleepovers.
I had about seven shoe boxes packed to the brim with notes I saved between me and my friends. They were filled with secrets I'd die if my parents knew about. So of course, I wrote TOP SECRET: STAY OUT on the box. Because that's as far as security goes when you're a '90s kid in the 'burbs.
My sister had tons of padded bras, and every time she left the house, I'd sneak into her room and take one. These were the best things to bring for sleepovers. Most of my friends have probably danced around in my sister's bras at some point.
When I wore lipstick, in the privacy of my room, I'd kiss things. My mirror. Pieces of paper. The wall in my closet. I loved the way red lips looked. But I'd be in serious trouble if my mother found the swatches, so they were always in the most random places. (Possibly in or around aforementioned JTT shrine, because '90s.)
Images: The WB, Giphy