'The Bachelor': The Pros and Cons of 4 Potential Post-Juan Pablo 'Bachelorettes'
So, we know one thing is for certain: recent Bachelor castaway, Sharleen, will not be The Bachelorette next season. Which means one of homophobic lost-in-translationer Juan Pablo Galavis' other 4 women will likely take the crown as the future lady in matrimonial waiting. From jilted ex to celebreality star in her own right — all in the blink of an eye: It's an old-timey tradition of the ABC emotional manipulation machine to take a rejected woman from The Bachelor's past and turn her into The Bachelorette's future. Like reality TV sloppy seconds (especially after this season's spit-swapping): it's an endless cycle from show to show, ensuring there's always a dramatic through line, in addition to TV-interconnectedness at any and all cost.
So it's very likely that the bachelorette will either be Renee, Clare, Andi, or Nikki. Considering these four women are incredibly different from one another and would in turn create very different television shows from their lovequests, we've decided to take a look at the pros and cons of each woman as the rose-giver du jour, and see if we can't narrow down, once and for all, who the likely victor will be in the endless dudepool that is finding true everlasting love on The Bachelorette.
Pro: Andi is an intelligent, independent woman. +20
Con: Andi is an intelligent, independent woman. -10
Pro: Andi is emotional and not afraid to show it. +6
Con: Andi cries like, all the time. -8
Pro: Andi seems to be the most normal one on the show. +10
Con: Andi's normalcy might make her a Desiree (a.k.a. boring as fuck). -8
Bachelorette Probability Score: 10
Pro: Clare is the most dramatic, unhinged person on this show. +20
Con: Clare is a dramatic, unhinged person. -10
Pro: Clare loves love! +5
Con: Clare is incredibly needy and attention-hogging. -10
Pro: Clare can make a fight out of anything. +10
Con: Clare is always the victim. - 20
Pro: Clare has been the one true source of drama this whole season. + 20
Con: Literally nobody but Juan Pablo likes Clare. -20
Bachelorette Probability Score: -5
Something tells us that Clare might've even been The One Juan Pebbles picked to be his wife (birds of a feather, as they say...). There's no way they'd let Clare be The Bachelorette.
Pro: Nikki is very frank. +10
Con: Nikki sometimes comes across as tedious and whiny. - 4
Pro: Nikki doesn't take shit from Clare. + 1
Con: Nikki is dismissive of other people's feelings. - 1
Pro: Nikki's favorite type of dancing "is drunk dancing." + 7
Con: Nikki's favorite movie is The Notebook. - 10
Pro: Nikki's favorite movie is The Notebook, which means her expectations of love are absurd. + 10
Con: Nikki is best friends with Andi, meaning she might also be too normal for this shit. - 4
Bachelorette Probability Score: 9
Pro: Renee is a mom! This show loves moms! +10
Con: Renee is too nice and understanding. - 2
Pro: Renee has a good grasp on herself. + 5
Con: Renee will likely send home the dramatic "not here for the right reasons" types fast. - 7
Pro: Renee doesn't mind ignorant people, as evidenced by her support of Juan Pablo. + 1
Con: Renee really liked Juan Pablo, which says a lot. - 5
Pro: Renee tries to make everyone feel comfortable when they're around her. + 10
Con: Renee might be too nice, making rose ceremonies super-painful to watch. -4
Bachelorette Probability Score: 8
So, Andi seems to be the most logical choice, but that might also make her the wrong choice. Nikki is next in line, but we doubt she'd really do it. The safest choice is clearly Renee, but do we really need another season of sad, hopeful, lovelorn parents on this show? Our vote is for Andi. Just please, whatever you do, don't let it be Clare.