What's It Like Listening To Vintage Avril Today?

by Mary Grace Garis

Who can forget (as try as we might) the early '00s when Avril Lavigne was the Queen of Angst? Or, let’s be honest, Angst Lite. Despite whatever Avril was complaining about in her signature song, it was a simple time, a time when your biggest problem was having your mom refuse to drive you to the mall. So as we venture into adulthood (or something like it), it’s definitely super weird to listen to old school Avril Lavigne in 2016.

Not necessarily bad-weird, but definitely not necessarily good-weird, either. Let’s face it. history has not been kind to Avril. Actually, if memory serves history wasn’t particularly kind of Avril even when it was the present. It is a very precarious situation to find yourself a raccoon-eyed teenager pop-punk teenager in the public eye. It was hard enough to be that in the private eye, without a record deal. And I’m sure it’s hard for her to be that now even though she’s technically, you know, a 31-year-old woman.

Regardless, sometimes you may casually wander onto certain corners of YouTube and find yourself blasting some vintage Lavigne. In such moments, you will be inevitably thinking at least some of the following...

1. I Wonder If The Guy In "Complicated" Was Just Trying To Find Himself

You know what, Avril wants him to take off all his preppy clothes, but maybe this is just who he is now. Like, maybe the skater boy thing was just a phase, because by the second half of eighth grade you're shedding your Hot Topic skinny jeans for something else.

2. Avril Should've Known That The Guy In "My Happy Ending" Wasn't Forever When He Bought Her Carnations

Like I hate to be such a Charlotte about it, but that's just obvious.

3. Did She Rhyme Dead With Dead?

Goddammit, Avril.

4. This Doesn't Sound Anything Like Minor Threat

Meanwhile, on the side of a faraway subculture, it loudly becomes clear that she isn't as punk as she seemed when you were 11.

5. I Wonder How Many Real-Life Heartbreaks Avril Actually Had By The Time This Song Came Out

All I know is that when I wore ties over tank tops, it wasn't making me super popular.

6. Girl Seems A Little Bit Too Trusting About Getting In With Strangers In "Damn Cold Night"

You just don't leave with someone because it's cold outside, my God.

7. Didn't I See This Lyric On A Livejournal Icon Somewhere?

I think it belonged to AlkalineTrio_666, but it could've also been xXAlkalineTrio666Xx.

8. Wait. Wait Wait Wait Wait Wait. Is She Rapping Here?

*Rewinds "Nobody's Fool" on Spotify, confused.*

9. Somebody Actually Made Love Songs About The Lead Singer From Sum 41

Although, to be fair, that was probably a fine thing to brag about in the early 2000s.

10. "Mobile's" Actually Pretty Good?

...yeah, it's actually pretty good. In terms of aging, it's like the Olive Garden breadsticks of Let Go.

11. And I Guess There's Nothing Deeply Offensive About These Guitar Riffs

I was really only offended on the awkward guitar playing in her music videos.


OK, but honestly guys? If you're going to retread these waters, do not rewatch the music video for "I Miss You."

You've been warned.

Images: Giphy (12)