Everyone's still trying to get used to this whole family thing, even though they pulled it together pretty well for Jude's adorable birthday on The Fosters last week. Especially Brandon, who's continued to be terrible, and Callie, who's taken up photography as a way to give back to the community and get more involved in school. But, as surprising as it may seem, this week's relationship troubles and revelations had nothing to do with those two whatsoever. We know you're as shocked as we are.
The kids are back at school after Mariana put her underwear in Chase's pocket at the cast party — and she's being ridiculed left and right over it. (Honestly, what'd you expect?) Callie still has no friends and the principal basically told Lena that if she doesn't join a club, she'll have nothing nice to say to Callie's probation officer in her progress report. The girl just got outed as a boyfriend-stealer, so she's going to need a minute. Mariana's also calling out Jesus for having a girlfriend (Lexi) but is letting Emma flirt with him anyway. As if she's the authority on relationships, but whatever. Oh, and Brandon and his friend are breaking into the school copy room to laminate fake IDs. YOU ARE SO COOL, BRANDON.
Callie's former group home friends, Daphne and Chiara, paid her a visit at the Foster house. Apparently, Callie is really great at photography and her photo of Daphne attracted a foster family. Yay, Callie! But it wasn't all good news — Daphne's having a hard time getting hired now that she's in the independent living program, and until she finds a job, she can't get her daughter back. Ugh. But Callie has a great idea to take photos of other foster kids to help them find families and enlists Daphne and Chiara to help her so they can all fulfill their community service hours. Callie's really shaping up to be a decent human being — you go, girl.
But most importantly, here's what's up with the Foster kids' relationships as of Monday night: Callie and Brandon are "trying to be friends," but that still doesn't mean being honest with one another (cough Brandon) or eating lunch together, Mariana realized that Zac actually likes her a lot and that she's an idiot for ditching him at the cast party but now they're going to date so that's okay, and Emma finally kissed Jesus and now he's breaking up with Lexi to be with her. Boom, boom, and boom — that was easier than expected.
As for the parents, things are a little weirder. Mike's got a new, young, fellow AA member girlfriend and Stef and Lena can't decide what race their new baby should be or what to do about a sperm donor. At an extremely awkward dinner at the Foster household — to which Stef invited Mike and his new girlfriend and Lena invited her coworker at school, Timothy — Stef tries to find out whether or not Mike's girlfriend is any good for him/Brandon and Lena tries to convince Stef that Timothy (who's attractive, intelligent, loves Shakespeare, and has an accent) should be their sperm donor. Both are incredibly awkward but it turns out that Timothy would love to donate his sperm. What a great coworker, right?
Meanwhile, Callie's first photo session goes really great until Brandon and his partner in crime show up at the school. Daphne's still struggling with finding a job and when she asks to use the bathroom and Callie tosses her Lena's ring of keys, we're skeptical that she might be up to something. It turns out that it's actually Brandon's BFF, who's supposed to be laminating IDs after hours, who actually stole a handful of Kindles from the office. UGH, BRANDON, YOU RUIN EVERYTHING. When the principal calls Callie in, she initially tries to protect Daphne until she can meet with her and ask if she took the Kindles — she denies it and says that she saw Brandon at the school, but Callie tells Lena anyway that she gave her keys away. Ugh, CALLIE.
When she asks Brandon about being in the school, he lies because of course. Brandon then asks his new friend whether or not he took anything — he admits to it and Brandon is pissed but his friend is just like, "WHATEVER, DUDE, THEY DON'T HAVE ANY PROOF THAT WE DID IT." Later on, Callie sees Brandon's car in the background of one of her photo shoot outtakes and she confronts him about being a big, fat liar and making her lose a great friend. Seriously, Brandon — you suck.
Oh, and by the way, Jesus was ACTUALLY at practice during all of last week's episode and successfully managed to drop a weight class. Too bad for him, though, that Emma actually went up a class (I guess all of those things she ate while terrorizing Jesus packed on the pounds) and they have to wrestle for the competing spot — Jesus lets her win, which is so rude, and she gets so mad that she kisses him (FINALLY). He feels bad, apologizes, and kisses her back (FINALLY). Oh, and he's going to break up with Lexi who's still in Honduras because he doesn't know when he'll see her again — like we didn't see that one coming.
Image: ABC Family