13 Signs You Might Be Falling In Love & It's More Than Lust Or Infatuation
You met someone new, started dating, and now you can’t get the hearts in your eyes to go away. You’re about as happy as could be at the mere thought of this person, but is it really love? I dug up some tell tale signs you’re falling in love for those out there who are unsure if the feelings are actually love, or if they’re just feelings of plain old lust (but of course, that's fun, too). The beginning of a relationship is always such a thrilling ride. You’re just getting to know one another and chances are the physical chemistry is growing and growing by the minute. You can’t get enough of each other. Then, you stop one day and think, “Am I in love with this person?” It’s tough to decipher.
A lot of times many of us think we’re in love when maybe it’s really something else — like lust. Similarly, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had friends gush to me that they're in love with someone they just met, only to realize once they’ve broken up that it was more like infatuation. That whole love thing is tricky to navigate; however, there are some signs that might point you in the right direction on whether what you’re feeling is love or not. Thinking about these points from the flip side might also help you understand whether your partner is falling in love with you or not. Of course, everyone and every relationship is different; just because one of these things is true for you doesn't necessarily mean you're falling hard, and vice versa. But if you need some guidance and can't seem to figure it out one way or the other, here are 13 common signs you’re falling in love.
1. You Catch Yourself Mentioning Your SO’s Name… All The Time
Somehow you’ve recently managed to squeeze in your partner’s name into every conversation you’re having, no matter what the topic is. You find yourself thinking, “Why did I just mention my SO to someone I just met? What’s wrong with me?” It just... happens. Women’s Health said if you’re finding that every topic and everything is reminding you of your partner to the point that you simply cannot stop talking about them, this could be a tell tale sign you’re falling hard.
2. You’re Willing To Do Anything For Him Or Her
LiveScience.com reported on a variety of studies conducted by Helen Fisher, an anthropologist at Rutgers University, on what’s going on in the brain when you’re in love. The studies showed, in part, that when we’re in love we’re willing to sacrifice nearly anything for the other person (of course, we don’t want to sacrifice our own core values, but that’s a point for a whole different article). Ultimately, this means you’re willing to go above and beyond for that other person — even if that translates to going completely out of your way physically or emotionally.
3. Embarrass Yourself? Sure, Why Not
Likewise, you’ll embarrass yourself without pause if it means making the other person happy, according to the love experts at eHarmony.com. Are you an awful dancer, but your partner is adamant about getting his or her groove on? You’ll hit the dance floor without pause — or whatever other embarrassing thing comes up — for this person when you’re falling in love.
4. You’re Now Open To Doing New Things
On the point of going out of your way, if you’re falling in love you’ll also be more willing to try new things with your SO and really branch out to make them happy. According to Psychology Today, this could mean a newfound willingness to try new foods, music, TV shows, activities, and the like.
5. You’re Saying “We” A Whole Lot
You know that friend who now says things like, “Oh, we love going to that Mexican restaurant downtown”? That girl is falling hard. According to Glamour, when we’re falling in love we’re likely to begin changing our vocabulary from “I” to “we.”
6. Love Songs Are Suddenly Your New Thing
Same goes for rom coms. You can’t seem to stop listening and/or watching them and subconsciously thinking they’re so applicable to your love life. According to the relationship experts at YourTango.com, when you hear a love song, for example, you’ll pick up on it more quickly and even will feel an added sense of happiness listening to it.
7. You Find Their Quirks Endearing
Things that regularly annoy you about other people (e.g., loud eating, leaving a messy kitchen, forgetting to close the cabinet doors) are suddenly endearing when your SO now does them. According to The Art Of Charm’s dating and relationship advice, ultimately things that were once quite irritating to you are no longer.
8. They’re Perfect In Your Eyes
Not only are this person’s quirks more than tolerable, they’re otherwise completely perfect to you as well. According to Fisher’s studies discussed on LiveScience.com, when people are in love they tend to focus on their partner’s positive qualities versus their negative ones. (This really makes sense when you think about the fact that your friends and family saw a problem with that jerk you used to date far before you ever realized his or her bad qualities.)
9. You Can’t Stop Your Brain From Thinking About Them
Stop for a moment and consider the last time you thought about your SO prior to opening up this article on your browser. If it was, like, 5 seconds beforehand — it might just be love. eHarmony.com said another sign you’re falling in love is if you can’t seem to get the other person out of your head. What’s more, thinking about them while also hoping they’re thinking about you... major sign you’ve got it bad, according to eHarmony.com.
10. You’re Investing A Lot In Your SO
I’m not referring to money, per se, but more so time and energy. If you feel you’re putting a lot into the relationship and slowly find yourself investing more and more, you might be in the process of falling in love, according to Psychology Today. The outlet noted this might be your way of promoting commitment between you and your S.O.
11. You Feel Like You’re On Something
According to Dr. Lucy Brown, neuroscientist and professor at the Albert Einstein College of Medicine, who spoke to YourTango.com on the topic, “Being in love is like being high on cocaine.” Why is this so? When we’re in love, it increases our brain’s production of dopamine and norepinephrine. According to the outlet, this leads to a lot of the physical symptoms that are the same as we’d experience if we were using cocaine, including increased heart rate, inability to eat or sleep, and feelings of euphoria. If you’re feeling high without actually being high — this sign might be pointing right at you.
12. You Haven’t Thought About Your Ex In Ages
That ex you used to think about constantly now only crosses your mind once in a blue moon, as your main focus is on your current partner. If this seems familiar, it could be you’re falling hard, according to Glamour.
13. It’s More Than Just The Physical
Yes, the physical aspect of your relationship is going great, but you feel like it’s a whole lot more than that. According to the Huffington Post, if you feel connected with your partner on a deeper level — you have meaningful conversations, you’re comfortable being silent around each other, there’s good energy between you both even when you’re not having sex, etc. — take it as a sign you’re heading towards love.
Sometimes it’s difficult to tell if we’re truly in love or not. However, if these signs resonate with you, take it as a hint that you might be really falling for that special person in your life.