11 Of The Craziest One-Liners From The 'Real Housewives' Kids
The show is called Real Housewives, but the ladies are not the only stars of the show. Sure, the women are entertaining, but so are their kids. The kids aren't the stars of the show — which makes sense, they do have to go to school and live their own lives — but they get enough screen time to make an impact and that is why some of the best one-liners on the shows have come from the Real Housewives kids throughout the years.
There are some younger kids, like Teresa Giudice's daughter Milania Giudice and Kyle Richards' daughter Portia Umansky, who are just so observant that it kills me when they go off the cuff and make random comments about the show. Then there are the older "kids," like Caroline Manzo's children, who are really a part of the action and know the ins and outs of their mothers' drama. These kids know exactly what's going on and have the insight needed to defend their moms or even just keep them in check if they are getting too out of hand.
It really makes me think that there should be some sort of all star addition of Real Housewives featuring the most hilarious kids.
1. Briana Culberson On Brooks Ayers' Existence
At this point, I don't even view Briana as a Real Housewives kid. She is really more of an honorary Housewife. So I take her opinions very seriously, especially when it came to her mom Vicki Gunvalson's worst love interest, Brooks Ayers. Briana made the observation that we were all thinking when she rhetorically asked, “Four kids. He has no car, no job, no house. Who the f*ck is this guy?” Seriously, though.
2. Albie Manzo On Mariah Carey's Christmas Album
Albie Manzo was channeling his inner Grinch when he said, "If I have to listen to Mariah Carey's Christmas album one more time, I dunno what I'm gonna do. Mariah's great and all, just not on repeat for three weeks straight." I have to strongly disagree with this one, but I did crack up at the statement.
3. Portia Umansky On Lisa Rinna Vs. Lisa Vanderpump
Portia Umansky asked her mom Kyle Richards, "Who do you like better: Lisa Rinna or Lisa Vanderpump?" during a Real Housewives of Beverly Hills episode, and she was really on point with that question since her mom is often caught in the middle of Lisa-driven controversy. It's clear that Portia knows what's up.
4. Ashlee Holmes On Danielle Staub's Meddling
Before Ashlee Holmes changed the spelling of her first name, she wrote an infamous Facebook message to Danielle Staub with the subject "GET A LIFE" and she ended it with "BYE. love and light. B*TCH."
5. Milania Giudice On Her Morning Routine
I have no idea what Milania has going on in her day-to-day life that she needs a cup of coffee to get going, but she has always been very mature for her age and I live for it.
6. Gia Giudice On Her Mom's Swimsuit Choice
Teresa Giudice's daughter Gia was really thrown off by her glittery swimwear and did not give her a positive review on the wardrobe choice. She did not hold anything back when she said, "Ew. Why your chuckalina full of sparkles?"
7. Milania Giuidice On Finance
I didn't even think that Milania was old enough to wear a bra, but she did tell her little sister Audriana, "Keep your money in your bra." I wonder where she learned that one from.
8. Lauren Manzo On Her Future Kids
During an episode of Real Housewives of New Jersey, Lauren Manzo was talking about her future kids with her brother and said, "I'd rather have ugly kids than douchey kids like yours will be." Well... hopefully all the future Manzo offspring are neither ugly nor douchey.
9. Ashlee Holmes On Her Mother's Life Choices
Ashlee insulted her mom, Jacqueline Laurita, for being a young mother when she said, "You lecture me about how I act and how I do this and that, but it's, like, I'm 20 and I don't have a kid." Wow. That was a crazy thing to say to the women who raised her, let alone on a reality TV show.
10. Shane Keough On His Mother's Attendance At His Baseball Game
Shane Keough went through a pretty embarrassing bratty phase when his mother, Jeana Keough, was on Real Housewives of Orange County. She and VIcki Gunvalson surprised him by going to his baseball game and he was not at all grateful for their presence. Not only that, but he said, "You're lucky I didn't throw a bat at you when you walked on the field."
11. Milania Giudice On Who The Real RHONJ Star Is
The show seems like it is about the women, but Milania knows that she is the one who makes for the most entertaining scenes with her one-liners. And many people agreed with her when she told her mom, "And I am funny and you're not." How long until Milania can be an official cast member?
The Real Housewives kids are really a barrel of laughs and a wealth of cringe-worthy moments. I wish that they got more shine, but I'll take what I can get when it comes to their ridiculous quotes.
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