Books

How To Get Your Face On A Sweet Valley High Book

If you ever looked at those fabulously '80s book cover illustrations and wanted to be the artist's next model, you're in luck. Cover artist James L. Mathewuse will put your face on a Sweet Valley High book, so all your middle school dreams can come true.

Mathewuse is the man responsible for hundreds of Sweet Valley High, Nancy Drew, and Hardy Boys novel covers. Those diffused, pastel drawings of the Wakefield twins and crew lined a lot of book shelves in the '80s and '90s, and they're still making the Tallahassee-based artist some moolah today.

A bust from Mathewuse begins with a free consultation with the artist. If you're serious about getting your face on a Sweet Valley High book, you're going to need at least $200 of mad money to blow. That glorious '80s nostalgia isn't cheap, but, you know, it's probably worth it.

Once you've been immortalized in a portrait fit for a yellowing softcover, head over to Paperback Paradise to find the most fitting book title for your woeful existence. There's the ever-popular He Just Ate a Whole Bag of Cool Ranch Doritos , but why not give Maybe He Didn't Get My Text a try?