Alec Baldwin's Going Up Against Sgt. Olivia Benson

Alec Baldwin's going to have another thing coming for him once Detective Olivia Benson is done with him. That's right: the "I'm quitting media for realsies" actor has already made an exception to his new rule, because Alec Baldwin will guest-star on Law & Order: SVU. And if that weren't enough for ya — apparently Mariska Hargitay is making her directorial debut in the episode. Not too shabby!

In the episode, Baldwin will play Jimmy MacArthur, a so-called controversial New York newspaper columnist whose quick to question the motives of Team SVU during an investigation. Apparently, Hargitay's Benson will really get into it with Baldwin, which sounds like an all-but guaranteed-to-be-explosive tête-à-tête. Katie Couric will also appear in the episode, playing herself (unlike Baldwin).

Considering the series' penchant for ripping their stories straight from the headlines, and Baldwin's never-ending headline-grabbing antics, it seems like a marriage made in heaven for the series to playfully poke fun at the actor by taking some of his own headlines and morphing them into a totally-nutso, SVU-appropriate story. So we took it upon ourselves to do just that — never afraid to be servicey, we are — and craft 5 potential stories that pay, uh, homage, to Baldwin's outspoken ways.

The Stalker Situation

Did you know Alec Baldwin had a stalker? It's true! She was even arrested, though she purports its hardly as simple as all that (of course/thank goodness). Genevieve Sabourin, the Canadian actress-turned-stalker was charged with aggravated harassment and stalking back in 2012 for texting and emailing the actor. She insisted that they had an affair and was pissed to learn that the actor was engaged to be married to his now-wife, Hilaria.

SVU could easily twist and turn this tale into something much darker — wherein they did have an affair! And she ended up dead! — for a perfect Baldwin-centric storyline.

Paparazzi Assault Gets Grave

Baldwin has assaulted more paparazzi and reporters than there are days in the week — at least that's how it feels like sometimes. Whether it's throwing one up against a car, punching them on the street, or getting into any other altercation, the scenarios would be way easy to turn into a seedy storyline of intruige and mystery. Maybe one of those paparazzo and a "famous actor like Alec Baldwin" have something in common: let's say, a lover they're both in bed with? And when one of them ends up dead, the SVU team's on it with the quickness.

Homophobia Kills

Remember those, like, 5 minutes that Alec Baldwin had an MSNBC talk show? Up Late with Alec Baldwin was cancelled after only 5 episodes following a a caught-on-camera tirade where Baldwin is asserted as calling the photog in question some pretty homophobic terms. Imagine this storyline in the SVUniverse: likely it would involve a dead photographer (I'm sensing a theme here...) who was publicly assaulted by a prominent TV talking head only to find out that the mysterious circumstances surrounding the photog's death reveals a far more insidious plot — Hostel-style homophobic murder clubs? A secret relationship between the photographer and the talking head? — the possibilities are truly endless.

Quitting Hollywood, Quitting Life

A huge star quits Hollywood in truly dramatic, erratic, and unexpected manner: a magazine cover story. Only days later said star turns up dead. While some are quick to call it an overdose, Benson knows better and finds clues at the crime scene that point to a far more complicated answer for the audacious actor's death.

Divorce Gets Deadly

Of course we ALL remember Baldwin's most iconic tirade — a vicious voicemail directed towards his then-young (11!) daughter. Baldwin purported in the New Yorker article that this was partially his ex-wife's fault. Wouldn't it be interesting — storyline wise — if the story was morphed into a messed-up revenge plot that involved the ex-wife of a famous actor (also a famous actress) trying to pin the death of their daughter (and pulling out all the stops and accusations possible) on the ex-husband as an act of revenge? Sounds like just the sort of thing SVU would be good at.