OK, let's all admit it: We all wish we could call out of work "sick" sometimes. What are some excuses we wish we could make for work? You know, the times when we really wish we could justify the need to go to a major sports game or see a new movie in the middle of the afternoon. Unfortunately, I think it's safe to say that those aren't the kind of excuses that our bosses take kindly to when it comes to calling out of our responsibilities for the day.
Still, it's nice to dream! Luckily for us, Zocdoc created a funny Sick Day Excuse Generator for our amusement. According to Zocdoc's Facebook page, it appears that the Sick Day Excuse Generator was inspired by Ferris Bueller's famous day off, as the film recently celebrated its 30th anniversary.
The idea behind the generator is pretty straight-forward: You input your name (or the name of your pet, your favorite fictional character, or what have you), and the website generates a humorous note that details a "sick day excuse" you could hand in to your boss — though, as a warning, it's probably not a good idea to hand these in to your boss for anything other than a joke (that is, you might want to think twice about using them on an actual sick day). All of the illnesses and ailments are completely made up, and many are twists on pop culture references and common jokes. The website also advises you to visit the actual Zocdoc website if you're feeling sick for real.
This is what the homepage of the Sick Day Excuse Generator looks like:
I mean, it's true! Everyone needs a day off sometimes, right? Here are some of the funniest responses I got:
1. Cat Face Strikes
I'm the ultimate cat lady, but I have to admit, even I'd be a little freaked out if I woke up with whiskers.
2. Surprise! Not Actually Cat Face
Just kidding! Even the ZocDoc generator doesn't think developing whiskers is a remotely believable excuse. Drats.
3. FOMO Relapses Are Real, Y'All
Calling out sick because of FOMO may be bordering on the stereotypical Millennial behavior, but hey, I can't say it's never crossed my mind.
4. Long Hair, Don't Care Syndrome
Longer hair takes longer to get ready in the morning, am I right? I think that deserves a little leniency when it comes to getting into the office on time (maybe).
5. Dislocated Ethernet Cable Syndrome Is So '90s
I believe that people totally did use this one as an excuse to call out of work when they worked remotely in the '90s and early 2000s, personally. If your Ethernet cord faces a sad fate, you're pretty much out of luck unless your neighbors have WiFi you can use. Eek!
6. In-Lawitis Would Likely Be A Much Used Sickness
If this was a real excuse people could use to call in sick, I have a feeling it would top the charts with popularity. If nothing else, visiting with your in-laws can be emotionally draining, if not downright physically exhausting, right?
7. Celebrity Obsession Syndrome Is In Full Swing
Let's all be honest with ourselves: Who hasn't spend a few too many hours reading up on celebrity news and gossip the night before we're supposed to show up at work bright-eyed and bushy-tailed? Yeah, it happens to everyone at some point.