'The Craft' Basically Predicts Your Personality

by Mary Grace Garis

If you are ever-so-slightly strange and have an affinity with ‘90s culture (so like, many of you) chances are you think The Craft is the best movie in the world... and I can’t blame you. There are teen witches and unflattering dark lipstick, and it’s both nostalgic and very on-trend at the same time. Of course, we all have our favorite witch from The Craft , and you may be surprised to find out that your top coven pick says a lot about both who you are and who you were.

I’m serious. Each witch-sister in The Craft has their own bevy of insecurities and darkness, their own dose of adolescent angst that they’re forced to overcome (mostly with curses and hexes). Said adolescent angst binds them, but these are pretty separate personalities, so naturally there’s a lot to be said if you resonate with one more than another. Chances are that, if you’re a Nancy, you had different teenage struggles than if you were, for example, a Bonnie. And your journey in to womanhood, little witch, would definitely have a different end game.

So, if you’re a little confused still, this is a quick guide to what your favorite character in The Craft says about you, in high school and after.


You were probably a former mallgoth, who eventually developed a legitimate wild streak as the years went on. In ninth grade, you brought a water bottle half-filled with vodka into school; like, that was pretty ballsy. In all seriousness, there were at least a few years of your life, probably bridging your late teens to very early 20s, when "crazy" sort of became your brand. If you have the patience to sit and read about a mid-'90s cult film, you've probably calmed down by this point. Mostly because you need a chill vibe to work on your soft grunge Tumblr.


You were teased mercilessly throughout high school, with one exceptionally venomous jerk leading the pack. These days, you're doing aggressively fine, while they're on their second kid with nothing but an associate degree in Psychology to their name. You take to Facebook to make fun of their pitfalls on the regular, but you do ask your friends if you're maybe just a little bit vindictive. You don't want karma to throw a break-up or missed promotion your way.


You had the worst case of acne in high school or you had a mild to moderate case of acne, and you felt like it was the end of the world. Whether it was your own teenage insecurities or you were legitimately a pizza face, you ended up blossoming into a beautiful, elegant gazelle-woman. You've buried all of those MySpace-era photos of you hiding in hoodies and replaced them with an onslaught of selfies... posted every hour, on the hour. Careful there, Narcissus.


Your teen years may have been marked by some sort of tragedy, or perhaps you became sullen all on your own. Whatever the cause may have been, you ended with a wallflower reputation: definitely smart, definitely pretty, mostly keeping to yourself until you got wrangled into some alt group or another. Unlike your former friend who now runs a soft grunge Tumblr blog (I mean, what the hell, right), you're slaying it in your chosen career in a more authentic way (to begin with, you have a career). Every accomplishment shows that you finally able to harness your true potential... but would it kill you to smile every once in a while?

See? It's like looking into a window that shows your very soul off to the world, back then and right now. But there's at least one thing past you and current you have in common: you still love The Craft.

Images: Columbia Pictures; Giphy (4)