Even if dating apps aren’t your thing, I’m sure a majority of us out there are well aware of the plethora of free dating apps and sites available for singles everywhere. So, with the obvious overload of such services, how many dating sites should you be on? One? Two? Ten? Twenty? Every new dating app out there?
According to a recent study of 3,000 Americans conducted by online omnibus VeraQuest, just over 20 percent of Americans have used an online dating site or app. For millennials in particular, that percentage grew to 30 percent. We’re living at a time when finding a partner via our phones is as common as hitting on someone at a bar, if not more common.
I talked to several dating experts to get their take on the perfect number of dating apps you should be on to find relationship success. I’m going to cut to the chase and say, there is no magic number. Whether you choose to focus your time and energy on one or choose to spread yourself among three or more, is up to you. But the expert reasons behind how many apps or sites you should be on may make a difference to how you use dating apps. With that said, here’s what experts had to say:
“I don't think it's great to be on too many apps when it comes to dating,” Sexologist and Relationship Expert Dr. Nikki Goldstein tells Bustle. “It's better to focus on one at time and start conversations to determine what someone's personality really is, instead of quickly dismissing due to the buffet of more people on offer. If you are going to pick more than one app to increase the pool of people you get to choose from, know that this might only add to the confusion and distraction but that you should try for apps that have a point of difference. Many people who are on apps are on multiple ones, so you want to and pick apps that are different to gain access to new people.”
Two Or Three
“They say you can have ‘too many cooks in the kitchen.’ I say you can have too many apps on your phone,” Erika Ettin, online dating coach and author of Love at First Site, tells Bustle. “I generally recommend that my clients stick to two apps, with the caveat that they use them proactively. This does not mean getting 20 matches a day and writing to none of them. This means limiting the number of matches they get to, say, three to five, and then reaching out to all of them. If, of three matches, one converts to a date, that is more than enough to line up per day! Just like you archive your emails (well, I do), I advise keeping your app inboxes clean.”
Emily Taffel, Dating Consultant at Ghosting Buster, agrees.
“In my opinion more than three dating sites is too many,” Taffel tells Bustle. “Any less than that and you are missing out on potentially perfect matches who may be on other sites however, too many sites and it becomes sensory overload and you will find your eyes glazing over as you flip through faster, focusing more on photos than profiles (the biggest online dating mistake) and missing out on being mindfully present in your own dating life.”
As Many As You Want!
“My advice on dating apps is ‘the more, the better,’ especially if the person wanting a date has the time for it,” Jonathan Bennett, certified counselor and dating coach, tells Bustle. “Online dating can be very competitive. By being active across multiple apps, you’re definitely increasing your odds of getting responses, carrying on a continued conversation, and maybe even getting a date."
Sonya Kreizman, co-founder and CEO of Crush Mobile, also tells Bustle you should be on as many dating apps as possible if you're looking for a relationship.
“Start and download the most popular dating apps and narrow it down to your favorite three or four. Make dating apps your best friends,” she says. “If you only use one dating app, you are not only working with a limited number of singles but the singles you are meeting off this app might not want a serious relationship. I like to recommend a minimum of three dating apps for someone who is single and looking for a relationship. This way even if you meet singles who just want to ‘hook up’ on two of these apps, I can guarantee that on one app, there will be someone swiping you with a shared desire for a long-term relationship.”
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