Your Dog Might Be Able to Talk to You Soon, If the Swedish Researchers Behind No More Woof Have Their Way
That cute talking dog in Up may become a reality in the near future. Swedish researchers are experimenting with No More Woof, a device that can translate dogs' thoughts into speech. The gadget, which is only in its infancy stages, uses brain sensors to track dog thought patterns and emits the result through a loudspeaker next to the dog's head. The Nordic Society for Invention and Discovery, the group behind No More Woof, use EEG (electroencephalography) sensoring, micro-computing and special [brain-computer interface] software to develop the technology.
As the Swedish team explains, dog thought patterns are more like mental states than actual pronounced thoughts. With this new gadget, dogs would be able to tell you things like, "I'm hungry," "I'm tired," or "I'm curious who that is." So don't expect to have long heart-to-hearts with your furry friend.
But they're hopeful about the new communication possibilities between species:
“The brainwaves differ quite a lot from different races as well as individual dogs,” NSID writes on their website. “However it is possible to detect some common patterns and we have no doubt that in the future this technology will open up a vast new era of communication between dogs and humans, or animals in general and humans.”
So where can you get a No More Woof for your beloved pooch? Sorry, nowhere yet. Right now, the Swedes are looking to fund the project via Indiegogo, where eager customers can pre-order three different tiers of devices for $65-$1,200. The most expensive version promises that your dog can "speak" short sentences like “I’m hungry — but I don’t like this!” (Great, just what we all need: sassy back-talk from your pet.)
So, does your dog really require what is basically its own cellphone? Probably not. Here's what I envision the average conversation between a dog an its owner to sound like:
Dog: "Human, human, human, look at me, look at me, want to play, let's go outside, now, now, now, I'm so excited!"
Human: "Hi dog."
Dog: "Flowers and grass and doghouse and slide and dirt and mud and warm and roll and run and fun! What's that noise? Go find human!"
Human: "Hi dog."
Dog: "Human! I'm jumping! I'm jumping! Pet my head! Pet my head! Rub my belly! Food! Food! Food! Food! Food! Yum! Yum! Yum! Yum!"
... 34 minutes later:
Dog: "Human, human, human, human, human, human, human, human???"
Dog: "Time to poop."
Then again, think of the possibilities! If only those poor stray dogs in Sochi had this device. Then we'd all get an earful of what Putin's Russia is really like, without the sleek Olympic makeover.
You've brought this upon yourselves, adorable Swedish researchers!
Photo: Know Your Meme