If you're one of those diehard original Ghostbusters fans who thinks that Ghostbusters plus women is basically the apocalypse, get ready for your head to explode with rage, because the rascally remix has done it again. You know, that thing that (some) Men Of The Internet hate. They're serving up a hot slice of original Ghostbusters with added lady on the side in the new Missy Elliott and Fall Out Boy Ghostbusters theme song. Honestly, I'm mainly here for the rap bridge, but, you know, Fall Out Boy is cool, too.
Much like the upcoming Ghostbusters movie, it's a reworking of an old favorite for a new audience. I love Ray Parker, Jr.'s version as much as the next human with ears, but I'm also drawn to literally anything Missy Elliott puts her mark on, so I'm into the new version. It's a little more rocky, a little less funky, but it feels appropriate for the new movie (especially with Missy's speed-of-light bridge in the middle). But it's not just the music that's changed a little. There are a ton of new lyrics in the mix, mostly contributed by Missy, which just further reinforce the fact that she is an actual queen and we are all lucky to have her. Let's review.
The very first new lyric we encounter is Fall Out Boy's one contribution: "I not afraid," there to replace the refrain "I ain't afraid." Was this the best they could come up with for a replacement? This makes Pete Wentz sound barely capable of forming coherent sentences. Let's move onto Missy's first four lines, because they are fire.
Can’t sleep when I’m home aloneNighttime an’ my lights onWoooo you got me scaredWoooo scared to leave my bed
Very meta, Missy. Is it just me or is this addition squarely aimed at Ghostbusters' target audience? If, like me, you're tough enough for Ghostbusters, that doesn't mean you're badass enough to watch, say, The Ring or an actual horror movie (minus the comedy elements). This is a shoutout to all those people who accidentally tune into a scary movie on TV and then can't sleep, right? Cue next four lines.
In my closet down the hallI see shadows all down my wallMan he must be big and tallGhostbusters who you gonna call
Same story. Suddenly, the whole world looks terrifying, even really basic everyday stuff like closets and walls. I don't know how much I can relate to the "Man he must be big and tall" line. When I'm overcome by a sense of the supernatural, I'm not normally so obsessed by height. It's not Tinder, you know? But I get it, you're creating a creepy vibe and I'm into it.
They roll up to my houseThey knocking at my doorThey come busting inKill all them ghosts
I'm speculating this is to work against some of the anti-lady Ghostbusters backlash. These lines make the new Ghostbusters sound smart, competent and powerful.
It’s so strange in my neighbourhoodLook out the window and it ain’t so goodI ain’t afraid so let’s get to itSmoke these ghosts like backwoods
What about Missy's closing lines? She's changed her tune. Her neighborhood seems more scary to her than the ghosts (perhaps a nod to the movie's setting of New York City). She's uneasy when looking out the window, but unafraid when it comes to smoking these ghosts like Backwoods (a type of cigar for the uninitiated).
If we assume that Pete Wentz is taking Ray Parker Jr's role, then they've actually cut a ton of lyrics for him. This seems par for the course for a film in which women, like Missy, are taking center stage. In short, whether or not you're digging the new Ghostbusters song, you've got to admit that the lyrics give some interesting insights into the direction this sequel's going in.