Calvin Harris' Alleged Revenge Song About Taylor Swift Is Either The Most Brilliant Or Most Petty Idea Ever

The world has seem some pretty sad celebrity breakups before, but I'm willing to bet that Taylor Swift and Calvin Harris splitting up has to be right up there with the worst of them. But now, it sounds like there's a chance it could go from heartbreaking to absolutely dramatic, and it's all because of what the DJ's next project might be. According to TMZ, Harris is reportedly releasing a song about Swift allegedly cheating, and it sounds pretty brutal. The song will reportedly be performed by John Newman, but the lyrics will come straight from Harris himself... and allegedly, they could reveal a lot of the details about what led to their breakup.

Bustle has reached out to reps for Harris and Swift regarding the reported song, but has not yet heard back.

This is a lot to digest, but the reported song, "Olé", is supposedly written from Tom Hiddleston's point of view, and tells a story about how Swift allegedly only pretended to be happy with Harris, when really she was allegedly scheduling secret meet ups in hotel rooms with her new flame. TMZ claims to have a few of the supposed lyrics, and they even involve a "low key"/"Loki" pun, because why wouldn't they? The site claims that a music video to go along with the track was filmed in Mexico last week.

Here are some of the reported lyrics:

"I see online that you begun to be a good girl and take trips with your boyfriend. Being attentive, continue to pretend ... You've hidden my name in your phone so you can call me to tell me you've been going through hell. Left him alone and you booked in a hotel ... Low key you won't tell none of your friends about me."

Oh, geez. So the way I see it, we can take this news one of two ways, and it all depends on whether or not Swift's relationship with Hiddleston is actually real — and I've had my doubts about that the whole time. If Hiddleswift is indeed a ploy crafted to convince us they're dating when really they're filming a music video/creating a performance art piece on what it means to be a celebrity/performing a social experiment/just trying to make everyone nuts, Harris releasing this song is actually genius. What would further the narrative Swift and Hiddleston are trying to tell through their recent paparazzi photos better than a cutting song like this, right?

But if Swift and Hiddleston are actually a real couple, I'm a little less impressed. Sharing feelings and life experiences through song are what being a musician is all about, right? Except that's not exactly what Harris is doing if TMZ's report is true. Instead of expressing what he's feeling, he's, supposedly, taking the words out of Hiddleston's mouth — words he probably never even said. It's creative, but it comes across a little petty. And as a listener, I'd be far more interested in hearing Harris' experience, anyway.

And of course, Harris has yet to actually confirm the existence of this song himself, so there's also that. But if he really wants to get in the ring, I'd advise him to be cautious. I mean, do you want to go up against Swift's writing skills? Didn't think so!