Juan Pablo Galavis' Latest 'Bachelor' Blog Is Defensive, Accusatory, & Totally Infuriating

The women of The Bachelor got to tell all last night and now it's Juan Pablo Galavis's turn. In his blog for People, Juan Pablo deconstructed the Women Tell All episode and sounded really defensive when doing so. Host Chris Harrison has admitted that sincerity or emotion "has been hard to find with [Juan Pablo] at times when he gets defensive," and nothing exemplifies that more than JP's blog, which is not only defensive, but just downright accusatory. Although I suppose he would classify that as "honesty."

I've broken down the 7 most defensive statements of the piece in hopes of opening an honest dialogue about what he's really saying underneath all those words. He can't accuse me of taking him out of context (which is his go-to excuse) because he said this morning on Twitter that the blogs "are not EDITED" (emphasis his).

He starts the blog off by saying, "Do I like talking badly about people? No, especially not about women. So let's see how I can write this without hurting anyone's feelings." (Spoiler alert, he doesn't do a great job.)

1. BEING THE BACHELOR IS HARD

Nobody has asked JP how he feels in this situation so he's just going to tell you. It's been rough on the poor guy. He writes, "Have any of the women thought about how hard it is to speak to so many people in such a short amount of time? It's very easy to speak when you only have to focus on one guy, but it's much harder when the guy has to get to know 27 women." I think it's important to point out that Juan Pablo wasn't the only person the girls got to know. They too talked to the other 26 women in the house and got to know them so well that some of them are real life best friends now.

2. HE REJECTED PEOPLE FOR THEIR OWN GOOD

Like putting a suffering pet to sleep, JP let a lot of girls go "because [he] knew that the process was too hard for them and that they weren't able to open up to [him]." Aw, how sweet. It's like he really cares.

3. IT'S THE WOMEN'S FAULT

If you and JP didn't click it's your fault for not opening up quickly enough (and by that I mean you didn't open your mouth quickly enough because on this show, it was all kisses or no roses. Unless you tried to kiss him during that mysterious one episode stretch where he gained his "I have a daughter" conscience back.)

Says Juan Pablo: "I wish I could ask [the women] if they could see how nervous they were every time they tried to talk to me." ...You could have asked them during the Women Tell All, but okay. I guess that JP is trying to insinuate that the girls were shy and therefore it was hard to get to know them?? I don't know what he saw, but I saw a lot of girls be very straightforward with him, Lauren and Renee even out and out asked him if they could kiss.

4. VICTORIA SHOULD SPEND LESS TIME DRINKING AND LESS TIME TALKING

Apparently, Victoria is not allowed to back up Kelly's thoughts on JP's gay comments because "she was there for only four days." I was on the show for zero days and I'd question JP about his homophobic statements any day of the week. Victoria specifically addressed JP's excuse that English is his second language. "Please stop using 'English is my second language' as a cop-out," she said during the show. "Pervert is pervert in English and Portuguese and Spanish and Latin and French."

JP addressed Victoria's comments in his blog but only to disparage her character saying, "I believe she should have worried more about being sober on the show so she could get to know me rather than say something negative about me." Yikes, we all know the night Victoria got too drunk was a bad one, but she acknowledged the mistake the very next morning, so why is JP using it as a weapon against her now? Especially when at the beginning of his blog he complains that the women are bringing up "things that happened so long ago."

5. YOU HAVE TO BE MEAN

"When you are trying to figure out what you want in a short amount of time, you have to be straightforward," Juan Pablo says. But like Andi said:

6. JP ASKS US A QUESTION AND THEN ANSWERS IT HIMSELF

When talking about Sharleen, JP addresses the viewers themselves:

Sharleen and Renee are by far the women who got to know me the most, and I spent the most time learning about their lives. Did you get to see that with Sharleen? Clearly you didn't, and that's a shame because she is a spectacular woman.

Whoa, slow down JP. I never said you didn't learn about Sharleen. We saw her sing for you. It was clear you liked her. It was also clear you spent a little too much time kissing instead of talking (something she pointed out on the show, not an editing issue). But there's no need to jump down my throat. I know Sharleen is a spectacular woman, I wrote about this back on day one.

7. ANDI IS IN IT FOR THE FAME

JP gets even more defensive when speaking about Andi. First he used the hated "it's okay" line again like we'll find that just hilarious.

"It's okay and will always be okay," he starts out. But then he basically calls Andi out for wanting attention saying, "In my opinion she should have told me in private, when we had no cameras, but I guess some people would rather do things in public."

Juan Pablo, I'm going to stop you right there. You're on a show, there is no "private." You spent your "private" time talking about yourself so Andi wasn't able to tell you in the fantasy suite. Also I don't really think Andi's one of those girls who puts it all on display for the public on purpose, I think she was just truly discouraged by the side of you she saw and was talking it out with the only people who were there: the camera team. Besides, if we're going to talk about "private," you should have talked to Clare in private about the ocean thing, because slut-shaming her on national TV was rough.

BONUS: ONE MEDIUM OF DEFENSIVENESS IS NOT ENOUGH

But JP couldn't contain his thoughts until today's blog and defended himself on Twitter last night during the show, particularly against the charge that he kissed a bunch of girls.

Or maybe he just actually can't remember and just wants someone to tell him??? In any case this train wreck season is over in one week so then hopefully we can stop listening to Juan Pablo try to defend himself by insulting a bunch of other people.

Images: ABC