The Bachelor and The Bachelorette have their share of embarrassing moments, and they’re not done yet! JoJo’s season wanted to be included, too — that has to be why the producers of the show had the remaining contestants (minus Alex, who was on a one-on-one date with JoJo) do a special JoJo-inspired Bachelorette rap while on a bus in the middle of Argentina. Yes, you read that sentence right. Five men rapping badly to no music on a bus, and it was definitely the most awkward moment of the season (and that’s including Wells’ first kiss with JoJo).
I don’t know why it even happened, but I guess the producers needed something for the other guys to do while they were in Argentina and waiting for JoJo and Alex to come back from their date. Alex and JoJo were on a one-on-one whispering to horses and talking about wheat and stuff, and the other guys? Well, they were grounded onto a Partridge Family-esque painted bus and driven to a roadside churrascaria to chomp on meats unknown. They also rapped, and lines included, “Well, Alex was on/A motorcycle ride/It went alright/But JoJo cried/Because she wishes/She was with us/It’s way more fun/Chilling on a bus.” Oh honey, no.
Who was beat boxing? Where were the beats coming from? Why are they just pooping on how short Alex is? You know that none of the guys wrote that rap. James Taylor is the only one who knows more than six words in that group, and he would never be so mean as to write a whole rap about Alex’s height. Also, Jordan and Luke took the whole rap thing too seriously. I just have a lot of feelings about this, and it may take the rest of the episode for me to recover. Probably.
Images: Veronica Gambini/ABC