So you've finally hopped on the "Pokemon Go" bandwagon and wandered your way up to level five. Suddenly, you're confronted with a choice that will influence the fate of your beloved Pokemon for years to come, or at least until the "Pokemon Go" craze dies down: Picking a team. If your desire to do right by your Pokemon has left you paralyzed with indecision, never fear! I'm here to tell you which "Pokemon Go" team to join based on your zodiac sign, the most scientifically rigorous and 100 percent accurate method of decision making known to the human species. (OK, fine — this is just for funsies and totally unscientific. But such funsies they will be!)
Before getting into the astrological details, you're probably wondering what makes Team Valor, Team Mystic, and Team Instinct different. The answer lies in their approach to training Pokemon: Team Valor, led by the Pokemon Master Candela, is heavy on discipline and training all day, every day. The team color is red, and their mascot is the fire bird Moltres. Team Instinct is a favorite among people who have lots of feelings; led by Spark and represented by the lightning bird Zapdos, the team's training emphasizes intuition and trusting your instincts. (Spark isn't one for subtlety.) Finally, Team Mystic believes in keeping a rational head during battle and researching the science behind Pokemon; appropriately, its mascot is the ice bird Articuno. It's far and away the most popular team among players, which may have something to do with leader Blanche's fabulous sartorial choices.
Each team starts on the same playing field, so to speak, so picking a team is up to your philosophical preferences. But if the prospect of choosing your own Pokemon team is too overwhelming — understandably so, given that it's like being able to choose your own Hogwarts house — why not leave it up to the stars?
According to astrology, Cancer is traditionally emotional and empathetic — the perfect fit for Team Feels, aka Team Instinct.
Brash Leos are natural leaders, and they're known for taking the initiative to solve problems. The verdict? Hop on that Team Valor train, because you might actually enjoy their obsession with training.
Virgo is analytical and hardworking, so if you were born between Aug. 23 and Sept. 22, sign up for coolheaded Team Mystic ASAP.
Although a Libra's social nature might lead them to consider Team Instinct, your fascination with balance and intellectual pursuits makes you a better candidate for Team Mystic.
Passionate yet collected, Scorpio will fit right in with Team Mystic, not least because it's a water sign and Mystic's mascot is an ice Pokemon.
Let's be real: If you're a Sagittarius, you already know you should be on Team Valor. This sign is goal-oriented and idealistic, just like Valor's leader.
Much like Sagittarius, Capricorn is big on discipline. Combined with your natural curiosity, Capricorn will probably be drawn to Team Valor.
Highly intellectual and calm to the point of aloofness, Aquarius is pretty much destined for Team Mystic, where you'll probably make fun of Team Instinct for having so many feelings.
Although it's a water sign, Pisces is friendly and deeply empathetic. Go talk about how much Aquarius hurt your feelings with Team Instinct.
Aggressive, courageous, and impulsive, Aries probably already picked Team Valor. As natural athletes, you might be the only person in your friend group without sore legs from walking so much.
On Team Mystic, ever-reliable Taurus will be Virgo's rival for the title of Most Chill.
Maybe the continual training for Team Valor will help Gemini burn through some of that restlessness, and even if it doesn't, you know you'd be exploring anyway.
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