*Grabs iPhone.* *Plugs iPhone into biggest speaker imaginable.* *Pulls “Raise Your Glass” up on iTunes.* *Plays “Raise Your Glass” on repeat at loudest volume imaginable.* *Waits until the Pump Rules fans gather ‘round.* Thank you for your time, fellow Pumpers. I've called you here today because there’s a major Vanderpump Rules scoop to chew on: According to Entertainment Tonight, Katie Maloney and Tom Schwartz's wedding date has allegedly been revealed. ET's source said the Vanderpump Rules stars are slated to tie the knot on Aug. 15 at a venue just north of Lake Tahoe. Yup, it looks like the Bubbas' big day is almost upon us. But wait, there’s more! ET added that the Northern California ceremony will reportedly be filmed for the fifth season of the Bravo reality show.
YEAH, BUDDY! I don't know about you, but that last detail really treated me right; I know it hasn't been confirmed-confirmed by Bravo, but I'm already fired up over the prospect of a Bubbas wedding ep. And given what we already know (Pump Rules was picked up for a fifth season, Pump Rules films during the summer months, TomKat will get married this August, Bravo loves a good wedding episode, Pump Rules loves a good wedding episode, I love a good wedding episode, and so on), this scoop seems pretty dang reasonable. I am already so emotionally invested in this scoop.
I can't wait for the Bubbas' wedding and I can't wait to find out whether or not Gordo Von Friendenheimer is the ring bearer and I can't wait to look at all of the wedding day photos that end up on social media and I can't wait to listen to Stassi Schroeder sort of talk about the wedding day on Straight up with Stassi (can't spoil anything!) and I can't wait for the fifth season of Pump Rules.
Here's actual footage of me scurrying toward Season 5:
Images: Isabella Vosmikova/Bravo; realitytvgifs/tumblr